Interpersonal Attraction

Dale Carnegie wrote a book that provides a recipe on "How to Win Friends and Influence People". His advice: if you want someone to like you, be pleasant, pretend that you like him, feign an interest in things that he's interested in . "Dole out praise lavishly" and be agreeable.

This is the mini-max principle or the General Reward Theory of interpersonal attraction

We like people who praise us: "Flattery will get you everywhere" Research: Ss were evaluated in either positive or negative terms. Results: Ss liked the evaluator better when he said nice things about them.

But do we always like to be praised? Jones found that when Ss were evaluated by an evaluator who had an ulterior motive, the positive evaluator was less well liked...."Flattery will get you everywhere unless you are trying to get somewhere"

We like people who do us favors: Helen Hall Jennings - reformatory girls who initiated activities were better liked. We like people who do us favors unintentionally - the mine field game leaders who led their team safely through the mine field were better liked.

When don't we like people who do us favors? When strings are attached. Strings constitute a loss of freedom and the feeling that one is being manipulated or used.

Simply, there is nothing simple about the effects of rewards on liking. Praise and favors are not rewarding in all situations

Getting someone to do you a favor increases their liking for you:

Jecker and Landy had Ss engage in a concept formation task. In this task, Ss won money. Following the "end" of the experiment Ss were approached by either the experimenter, the psychology, dept. secretary, or not approached and were asked if they would return some of the money so that the research could continue. The experimenter asked "as a personal favor ....". The Ss were then given a survey. A question on the survey asked how much they liked the experimenter. Who liked him best?

Social Exchange Theory grew out of the General Reward Theory. This theory says that we like those who provide us with rewards at low costs (mini-max prin). This theory is based on Equity - what you and your partner get out of a relationship should be proportional to what you both put into it. Even casual relationships are based on equity. Not a conscious ledger of give and take but, when either party feels that the costs outweigh the benefits, or when the relationship becomes inequitable it becomes threatened.

Initial attraction: what are the two most important determinants of initial attraction?

Matching Hypothesis - people tend to choose others who are roughly equivalent to them in physical attractiveness and on other social assets

Murstein (1972) found that the more intimate the relationship, the greater the matching

Harrison & Saud (1977) in examining lonely hearts columns found that the more the individual felt he/she had to offer, the more he/she demanded in return.

Is the importance of physical beauty exaggerated?

Karen Dion study - Ss rated physically attractive people as being more sensitive, kind, interesting, strong, poised, sociable, outgoing, exciting, more sexually warm and responsive, to hold better jobs, to have more successful marriages, more fulfilling lives than less attractive people.

Nursery school children - adults made attributions about the causes of misbehavior in nursery school kids who varied in attractiveness. Findings ; the same behaviors exhibited by attractive kids and unattractive kids were attributed to different causes

Young children demonstrate this attractiveness bias in selecting children for games or teams.

Sigall & Aronson - physically attractive women have a greater impact on men than less attractive women. Men were given either a positive, negative, or neutral evaluation by either an attractive or an unattractive clinician. Results?

We possess a "What is beautiful is good stereotype" and we categorize people according to this stereotype. What is the effect of this stereotype?

Attractive children have higher self-esteem probably due to the responses they get from others; attractive college students date more, have less anxiety about dating, and are more sexually experienced. Attractive people have better social skills:

Goldman &Lewis (1977) male students had 5 minute phone conversations with 3 different girls. The girls then rated the boys in terms of their social skills. Those boys receiving the highest ratings were also the most physically attractive.

Kalick (1977) had Ss indicate their impressions of 8 women, judging from a profile picture taken either before or after cosmetic surgery. Results ?

Research has found that attractive people possess higher self-esteem, are less prone to psychological disorder, are more socially polished.

Why?

Self-fulfilling prophesy/ expectancy and behavioral confirmation. Attractive others are valued and so may develop more social self-confidence. What is crucial to your social skill is how you view yourself and feel about yourself.

Grades - attractive children are assumed by teachers to have a higher IQ, to go to college, have parents interested in their education. Of course, other research shows that kids are likely to behave as they are treated and are expected to behave. Teacher's schemas lead them to be friendlier and more attentive to attractive children. The schema creates its own social reality.

Rape - attractive defendant/attractive victim; attractive def./unattr. victim; unattr. def./attr victim. who gets convicted? Who gets the longer sentence?

Why do we like attractive people?

CER attractiveness elicits a pleasurable response. Attractiveness is associated with positive qualities as a result it becomes a positive cue for us. The Reinforcement-Affect theory of interpersonal attraction is based on these ideas (Byrne-Clore). From this point of view, emotional responses are the crucial element in determining attraction. Physical attractiveness (attitude similarity etc.) influence the affective state of the individual. If this is true, then it follows that any environmental situation that directly influences emotions should influence attraction toward anyone who happens to be around at that time

Gouax (1971) emotion arousing movies were used to manipulate affect (funny, sad); mood measures were taken; following the movie Ss participated in an experiment on attitude similarity. They had to respond to a stranger who had either similar or different attitudes. Their attraction responses demonstrated both a similarity effect and an emotional effect. At every level of similarity, the happy Ss liked the stranger the most and the sad Ss liked him the least.

Consensual validation If we have learned that attractiveness is good, we assume that people who are attractive will agree with us (research has shown that people assume that attractive others share their attitudes)

Misattribution (Schacter) mislabling arousal. The anxiety and social comparison study ; the bridge study; multiple activities

Antecedents of Interpersonal Attraction

Situational Influences

Propinquity (Festinger) physical proximity; the probability of individuals becoming friends is determined , in part, by the structure of their environments and the potential contacts

Festinger, Schacter, Back (1950) two types of propinquity: actual physical distance and functional distance. Functional distance determines the probability of random contacts. In married student housing friendships developed as a factor of physical distance between apartments (Caplow & Forman, 1950).

(dorm assignments, seating charts, etc.)Bryne (1961) manipulated seating arrangements in a classroom. Those at the center were more popular, at the end of the year everyone was more popular.

Mere exposure effect we come to like those things to which we are frequently exposed (the basis for ethnocentrism). Mita, Deimer, Knight (1977) photographed women and later showed each person the photo and a mirror image of it. Ss liked the actual photo better. Why? Which do you think others preferred?

Similarity Do we prefer people who are similar to us or dissimilar to us? Do birds of a feather flock together or do opposites attract?

Byrne - if all you know about a person are his/her attitudes on several issues, the more similar those attitudes are to your own, the greater the liking.

Why is agreement important? Social Comparison we compare ourselves (our opinions and beliefs) to others with similar beliefs to determine the validity of these beliefs. People who are similar provide us with consensual validation that are beliefs are correct.

Reinforcement-Affect Theory says that similarity arouses positive affect and thus increases attraction.

To achieve Cognitive Consistency Heider's Balance Model; people strive for consistency among their attitudes, beliefs, feelings, and behaviors. Heider - cognitions fall into unit relations (referring to the cognitions belonging together) and sentiment relations ( referring to the individual's feelings about these events). Thus we want the people we like to like the things that we like and to dislike the things that we dislike. Inconsistency produces strain and tension.

Newcombe's Model is based on Heiders. He looks at the person's attitude toward X (the object), the person's perception of the other person's att.toward X, and the other person's att. toward X. Newcombe's apartment house study: at first friendships were based on propinquity; later on similarity.

Need and trait similarity in long term relationships.

Marital adjustment - two hypotheses: need complementarities - individuals are happier in their marriages to the extent that they possess different but complementary needs (dominant/submissive); need compatibility - individuals are happier if they possess similar needs and traits

Meyer and Pepper (1977) asked married couples to complete scales that measured their possession of several needs and traits (autonomy, impulsivity, nurturance, dominance, affiliation, aggression) and another scale that measured their marital adjustment. Findings: the well adjusted couples had greater need and trait similarity.