Dr. Kimberly S. Young defines cyber-relationship addiction as an over involvement in online relationships to the point of dependence. Some individuals use the internet to experiment with social identities, while others simply cannot get enough of their online relationships. These cyber-relationships can be romantic and/or sexual in nature, or sometimes friendly and/or neutral, but all provide the user with a sense of immersion and anonymity, which Young says can be psychologically rewarding. Young believes that online relationships elevate the user’s mood and increase the user’s self-esteem (Young, 1999).
Research has shown that individuals tend to reveal more aspects of their “true” selves when communicating over the internet. Individuals are more likely to disclose very intimate, personal information online than in face to face settings. Not only are people more likely to disclose personal information online, they tend to do so more quickly than they typically would in a traditional face to face setting (Bargh et al., 2002). Individuals experience an increased sense of anonymity and perceived trust of others when they are communicating online. Individuals might also express themselves to others more easily online because they feel a reduced fear of rejection. Even when the user feels that the probability of being rejected is high, the internet removes them from an environment in which they would have to deal with the social consequences of the rejection. The internet can also remove the influence of certain social cues found in traditional face to face settings over relationship formation. When communicating online, people are less influenced by things like physical appearance which may hinder the development of relationships. Many users also feel liberated by their increased ability to control how they present themselves to others when communicating online. Another unique service the internet offers to the formation of relationships is the extreme ease with which one can find others with similar interests. Due to these and other factors, online relationships may form more easily and much faster than face to face relationships and there is evidence to suggest that relationships formed online might be more substantive than face to face relationships and consequently more stable (McKenna et al. 2002).
A problem arises however, when an individual comes to rely on their online relationships as a sole source of companionship and comfort. The internet seems to create alternative realities for users which encourage self-disclosure, increase trust of others, facilitate social experimentation and give the user a sense of control in how they present themselves. These things lead to rapid relationship formation, and ultimately increased self-esteem for the user (Young, 1999). For these and other reasons, it seems that internet relationships can very easily become addictive.
Though the exact reasons behind why a person might become dependent on internet relationships are not clear, some research has shown that certain preexisting personal qualities and psychological factors might predispose a person to the likely development of internet related problems. Research suggests that individuals who are chronically lonely or perceive their social lives as incomplete tend to seek out online relationships. These individuals may or may not be at more risk for developing dependencies on virtual relationships due to the disinhibiting quality of online communication (Morahan-Martin & Schumacher, 2003). Individuals may also turn to the internet as a means to escape the reality of other problems they may be experiencing, such as various psychological conditions, stress, etc. (Griffiths, 2007). Since the internet is thought to provide alternate realities for the user, specifically in the development of relationships, it is not difficult to understand how these types of addictive behaviors can develop.
The negative consequences of cyber-relationship addiction are similar to those of other addictions. Individuals who suffer from cyber relationship addiction may experience social decline, role impairment, emotional distress and other consequences which can lead to increased negative affect and symptoms of depression (Young, 1999).