Internet dating is becoming so common that is it having a noticeable effect on our culture at large. Although most of this effect has been a positive, one area of concern for many is the effect that internet relationships are having on existing relationships. Internet infidelity is relatively easy to hide and easy to proliferate given the asynchronous manner of e-mail communication. It is an easy medium for a disfranchised partner to seek outside gratification while being discrete. Wysocki (1998) found that most people who had an online affair logged on after their partner went to bed or at work.  There is no need to travel or need for an alibi that is typically required if a person is involved in a typical affair.  

There is a considerable amount of debate as to what constitutes internet infidelity. Does a person actually have to have a face-to-face meeting with an internet partner to have cheated? Or is internet infidelity defined as having cyber sex with someone other than their spouse? McKenna, Green, and Smith (2001) did a study of heterosexual internet sexual chat room users and found that 41% of them did not consider cybersex to be cheating on their partner at all. Interestingly, there were significantly more women who felt this way than men.  On the contrary, in a study done by Whitty (2002) participants who were surveyed about their attitudes regarding cybersex felt that cyber sex in fact did constitute cheating.  They even felt that some acts committed online were actually of greater concern to them than acts committed offline.  In particular, it was the intimacy with another person that was cited as such. Often people who are engaged in internet relationships have a higher level of self-disclosure with their virtual partner than their face-to-face partner (Underwood and Findlay 2004).

Henline, Lamke, and Howard (2007) surveyed college students about their perception of online infidelity.  They found that most students considered it to multifaceted with a sexual dimension and an emotional dimension.  The students broadly defined what constitutes an online relationship as well, some believed that simply chatting with another person constituted cheating, while others believed it mattered what they talked about and if they intended to meet at some point in the future.  The students also reported that emotional online infidelity was far more of a concern than sexual infidelity, because emotional infidelity is usually a sign of an emotional deficit in the relationship. 
Actually, it seems that most of the close relationships that form on the internet do so because of emotional attachment rather than sexual gratification.  Research has shown that people who share aspects of their “true self” are more likely to have a successful internet relationship (McKenna, Green, and Gleason 2002).   If a person feels that they have an emotional deficit that is not being met by their spouse, forming a relationship on the internet may be especially attractive to them.   

According to Underwood and Findlay (2004) online relationships adversely affect existing face-to-face relationships as much as traditional affairs. Their study explored the dynamics of relationship formation of the internet and in a sample of 75 adults who were in face-to-face and online relationships; most reported more satisfaction with their online relationship than with their face-to-face one, though few said that it was more important to them than their primary relationship. Although only a quarter of the sample admitted that their online relationship had affected their primary one, those participants reported concealing the truth about the time or nature of their online activities, that they had neglected everyday tasks, and that levels of sexual intimacy with their primary partner had dropped.

If online affairs have the same effect on existing relationships, how prevalent is this in our society? Young (1996) reported that people who use the internet excessively tend to neglect responsibilities and relationships in the real world.  Marriages also were strained by excessive internet use, particularly when the time that was spent online was dedicated to their virtual partner. Internet affairs also distract people from dealing with problems that may exist in real world relationships because time and energy that could be spent fixing the relationship is spent enjoying these online relationships (Cooper, McLaughlin, and Campbell 2000).

Infidelity has been a problem in relationships since people decided to become monogamous. The research has shown that affairs that form online affect face-to-face relationships as much as a traditional affair does.  Sexual gratification can be the reason for the affair, but the emotional impact of online relationships should not be underestimated.  Online relationships often have a high level of intimacy that even face-to-face relationships do not have.