Dawson.
How a warm Glass comforts a man when he is out of spirits! If I were to belong
to this house in any other shape than that of Butler, I should be off in a
month with the hip. (1) Yet
I question if there's another person in the World as sober as I am; or e'en
a one that would put up as affably with my lord's tantarums; or, indeed, a
more honest & agreeable Man in any shape of life; so that why I should
not have as good a chance with Mrs. Innis as Mr. Davis has, I can't tell;
unless, indeed, it be from my foolish own modesty, which is always hindering
me from putting myself forward; so that nobody knows, & nobody guesses
one quarter of what I am worth.—Ah! My dear Mrs. Innis!
[Enter Innis.]
Innis.
O Mr. Dawson, I'm so flustered—
Dawson.
Flustered? At what?
Innis.
Why I just walked out a little way on t'other side the park pales, & who
should I come plump against, but that odd man we don't know what to make of?
Dawson.
What, the fellow who has was dodging about so all day yesterday?
Innis.
The same, & it has put me in such a flurry—(2)
Dawson.
Did he say any thing?
Innis.
Say any thing? He asked me questions by the hundred: how long we should stay
here, & whether our young Gentleman rode out, & whether Mr. Valentine,
in particular,—
Dawson.
And why did not you call me to him?
Innis.
Why?—why because I had a mind to walk on a little—only he put me in such
a fright; he looked so black, & so grim, & so staring!—
Dawson.
Ah, Mrs. Innis, I am afraid I can guess why you wanted to walk that way alone:
you expected Mr. Davis would be coming home?
Innis.
Why you know, Mr. Dawson, such a heap of things has happened since he went away,
that, to be sure, one should like to hear what he would say to them all. However,
I would not have had my dear young lady take your cross old lord for all the
World. They say he was not half so proud before he got his title, upon going
that last time to the Indies, where he made his great fortune.
Dawson.
Why he was always pretty unbearable, Mrs. Innis. Lauk! to see his elder brother,
Lord Exbury, that's a natural lord, as one may say, being no more than what
comes to him from Father to son, so genteel-behaved, & so affable!—while
this, that only got it by fortune-hunting, in comparison, to be so highty
& imperial! (3)
Innis.
Yes, lord Exbury's the best man in
the World; I & my young lady both think so. But as to Lord Ardville, I &
my young lady can't abide him. He thinks himself so wise, too! He pretends to
be never in the wrong.
Dawson.
Very true, Mrs. Innis; & of
all things what I hate most, is a man's singing his own praises. My lord's
got such a trick of it, that it has made me take a resolve never to speak
up for myself as long as I live; though I'll consent to be hanged if I think
I've my fellow either for quickness or honesty; or for sobriety, or, indeed,
for the matter of that, for anything that's proper;—but it's what I make
a rule never to say. (4)
Innis.
O, you are so modest, Mr. Dawson!
Dawson.
Ah, Mrs. Innis, if I were but as
happy as Mr. Davis! to live under the same roof with you, & to serve lord
Exbury! (5)
Innis.
Lord Exbury (6)
is very good to Mr. Davis, to be sure, for he never thwarts him in any thing
—except just to try to break him of that droll trick he has of talking so
wide of the mark.
Dawson.
And if ever he breaks him of that,
say my name isn't Dawson. It's in the very blood of him, & he can't speak
of a thing just as it is for his life. If a house be large, 'tis a Castle; if
small, it won't do for a pig-stie: if a Man be weak, he can't wrestle with a
doll; if strong, he can twist round a lion with the tip of his little finger.
For every five, he counts fifty, & for every fifty, five hundred.
Innis.
Well, Mr. Dawson, he's very agreeable
if he does; & he means no harm, I am sure.
Dawson.
Harm? no; he's a good fellow Mrs.
Innis; I know that; as faithful a good fellow as ever lived; & Lord Exbury
has checked him so often for speaking so out of the way, that he begins to try
to check himself, now; & as soon as he has said a thing in a full hearty
voice, that not a sould can believe, he'll sneak back, in a small little tone,
to the plain truth, like a school boy at sight of a rod.
Innis
[aside].
What a spite he has to poor Mr. Davis!
& he never sees, the whole time, he's the mere ape of his own lord, puff,
puff, puffing himself!
[Enter Davis, booted & spurred, followed by the Strange Man.]
Innis.
O Mr. Davis, I've so many things
to tell you!—
Strange
Man.
I hope, your Honour -
Davis.
What do you follow me in for, friend?
The house isn't mine, I tell you.
Innis.
O lud! it's the odd man!
Dawson.
What do you do here, Mister? What
do you come into the house for?
Strange
Man.
I don't come a begging, your honour;
I only axes for a cup of beer; & just to rest me a bit.
Dawson.
Get out this minute, sirrah!
Strange
Man.
Would not your honours like a merry
song? or a comical story?
Davis.
O, if you can sing a song, my boy
-
Dawson.
Get out of the house, I say! If my
lord should come home, he'd blow us all the the Devil.
Strange
Man.
Would a' so? 'Tis to be hoped,
then, we should have his worshipful Lordship along with us. I likes good company.
(7)
Dawson.
You impudent rogue! [drives him out.]
Innis.
I never saw such a nasty black bold-looking
man in my days! Who can he be?
Dawson.
A thief, I make no doubt. (8)
Innis.
Lud! I hope I've lost nothing! [feeling
in her pockets.]
Davis.
A theif? no; he'd wait for the night
then. I take him for some spy.
Innis.
A spy? Lud, Mr. Davis, who does he come to spy?
Dawson.
No, no; he would not go about so
like a scrub (9) if he were
a spy.
Davis. Well a fortune teller, at least.
Innis.
A fortune-teller? O lud! What did
you send him away for, then? I'd rather have my fortune told than any thing.
I'll run and make somebody call him back.
Davis.
My dear Mrs. Innis, let me go for
you.
Dawson.
No, let me Mrs. Innis.—
Innis.
No, no, stay both where you are.
I'll have him into the house-keeper's room. You must neither of you come. I'll
let nobody hear what my fortune is—till I know how I like it. [Exit in
haste. ]
Davis.
Well, Mr. Dawson, I am glad, however,
to hve caught you toping. Shall I pledge you?
Dawson.
With all my heart. I scorn to drink
alone. [helping him.]
Davis. So do I, too;—When I don't pay for the Wine. [aside.]
Dawson.
You are come back to very bad news,
Mr. Davis; our two lords have had a quarrel.
Davis.
Have they? They I'll venture what
you will the fault is all lord Ardville's; for as to my own lord, you can't
find out he has one in the World, if you'd give a thousand pound a piece for
them. What will you bet of that, Mr. Dawson? I'll lay you twenty thousand pounds
to ten.
Dawson.
I never lay more than I can pay,
Mr. Davis.
Davis.
Come, then, a shilling! a shilling
to sixpence? But pray, what's the quarrel about?
Dawson.
Why you know we have all long seen
how sweet my old lord has looked upod Miss Hilaria Dalton, sour as he is to
every body else: &, last night, he came to the point, & downright
asked her to marry him. Did you ever hear of such an old dotard?
Davis.
Yes, of a million such, at least!
But poor Mr. Valentine! he'll shoot himself, to be sure! (10)
that's no more than one must naturally expect from him. (11)
Dawson.
And what for?
Davis.
Why don't you know he's so in love
with Miss Hilaria, that he reckons it a crime to eat, drink, or sleep, for fear
it should put him off from thinking of her? And when she refused him, though
it was plain she liked him as well as he liked her, we were all sure, among
ourseves, it was only because she was waiting for this offer from his rich old
uncle.
Dawson.
But she has refused the rich old
uncle, too.
Davis.
Refused lord Ardville? I'll give
her a kiss the next time I see her. (12)
Dawson.
You? You kiss Miss Dalton?
Davis.
Nay, I don't mean quite a kiss
—but I'll make her the handsomest bow she ever saw in her life. Look! [Bowing
grotesquely.] (13)
Dawson.
You may guess what a rage this
has put my lord in. He threw all the blame directly upon Lord Exbury, (14)
& was so over above rude to him, that the poor worthy Gentleman ordered
his carriages to be ready this morning for leaving us, though but one week
is over of the month he came to spend here.
Davis.
My dear good lord! And he was so
troubled already, what with debts of Mr. Mordaunt, & what with Miss Hilaria
refusing Mr. Valentine, that you might hear him sigh half a mile off! My dear
good lord! to be so used! I'd die an hundred times a day, with pleasure, to
serve him.
Dawson.
And I'd let my lord die as many to
serve me! There's the difference. But, would you believe it, Mr. Davis? no sooner
was breakfast over this morning, than out goes my lord, & vows he won't
come home again till the house is cleared of his relations? boasting, all the
time, after his old way, that there is not his like, high or low, for discovering
what every body's at.
Davis.
Yes, he's a special wise-acre.
(15) He don't believe his
Equal is to be found in the whole World—no, not if Captain Cooke (16)
were brought to life again, on purpose to go around it, & look him out.
Dawson.
Well, of all things, what I can't put up with is a Man's vaunting himself
so. Any thing else I can excuse, be it what it will, because I am one that
hate to find fault; for, indeed, I can safely say, as to the matter of that,
that as for good-nature, or kindness, or obligingness, you may go the whole
country about before you'll meet with my fellow.
Davis.
Pray did not I see Sir Achy Fineer's
carriage as I passed by the coach-house?
Dawson.
Yes, Sir Achy came from town this
morning, has been close closetted with your two young Gentlemen till within
this house; & now he's with your lord himself.
Davis.
I must stay, then, till he is gone,
for my business must be a secret to the very Walls:—though I might just as
well have sone it here; too, after riding all about the country, miles &
miles, up & down, round & round, I've fixed upon a spot close by.
Dawson.
What spot, Mr. Davis?
Davis.
Spot, did I say?—well, if I did
—but remember! it's a secret of state!—Only between my lord & me. Why
he bid me go and hire, out of hand, a small neat ready-furnished house, in the
most retired place I could find: & I have met with one just down that pretty
valley to the right of your Park.
Dawson.
Why, as sure as can be, it's the
haunted house, then?
Davis.
Haunted?
[Enter Innis, tittering.]
Innis.
O Mr. Davis! O Mr. Dawson! I've had
my fortune told!—But I won't let you know what it is!—but it's very good,
I assure you!—A young Gentleman—but I won't tell you a word! -
Davis.
I hope, Mrs. Innis, you don't mind
-
Innis
[laughing].
Yes, I do mind, Mr. Davis!
Dawson.
No, sure, Mrs. Innis, I hope you
don't care -
Innis.
Yes, I do care, Mr. Dawson!
Dawson.
I'll thrash the rascal out of the
house this minute! [Exit.]
[Davis. Innis.]
Innis.
O no, don't! don't! All the maids
want to have their fortunes told, & he says he has a mind to tell Mr. Valentine
his.
Dawson.
(17)
Mr. Valentine? Does he think -
Innis.
Yes, he asked a heap of questions
about Mr. Valentine—but he did not tell me Mr. Valentine was the young Gentleman
he meant—nor yet Mr. Mordaunt;—nor yet Sir Archy Fineer. He woud not own
who it was, all I could say; But he said I should be sure to find it out.
Davis.
But, who ever it is, Mrs. Innis,
you would not forget -
Innis.
Would not I, Mr. Davis?
Davis.
No, you would not be so unkind -
Innis.
What, not if a Conjuror made me?
Davis.
No, I am sure you would not.
Innis.
Yes, I should, Mr. Davis!—as sure
as you stand there! [Exit, giggling.]
[Davis looks aghast. Enter Dawson.]
Dawson.
I have shown the rogue the way out
of doors, to a tune that will prevent him, I believe, from being in a hurry
to come within them again. What's the matter with you, Mr. Davis?
Davis.
Nothing—nothing.—She's only at
one of her jokes, I dare say. [aside.] What was that you were talking
of about that house being haunted?
Dawson.
Why, a lady died there, lately, in
one of the rooms, & she has been seen there since! And, once, she appeared
to old Mr. Litchburn.
Davis.
What, does Mr. Litchburn believe
in Ghosts? Why I could just as soon believe we were all walking upon our heads,
& did not know them from our heels. He's a sad noodle, that old Mr, Litchburn.
He stares so, sometimes, at a mere nothing, that, once or twice, I could almost
take my bible oath I saw both his eyes walk out of his head!
Dawson.
Yet he's the only person that comes
nigh us. My lord's frightened away every body else,—except just on public
days. (18) Now Pride is a
thing no one can accuse Me of; for though I don't like to talk of my own good
qualities, I can fairly say, that there is not perhaps in the whole kingdom
a Person that has a better temper than I have.
Davis.
Poor Mr. Litchburn! To come but into
the house of a lord he thinks will be the making of him. And he's so dull, that
he don't understand above one half what Lord Ardville says, & so must put
up with t'other half.
Dawson.
But that isn't all: about twenty
years ago, my lord got him a kind of a sort of a very poor place; so he comes
here every day, paying his court, in hopes he'll change it for a better.
Davis.
Ay, poor stupid noddy! (19)
Cringe, cringe, cringe—bowing the lower for every affront! But if he were
to be pulled by the nose, & it were by a lord,—he'd be proud of the
honour.
Dawson.
Hark! I think I hear him with the
Porter. Now he'll come & stay an hour, humming and hawing, & spelling
over every thing one says, word by word—a tiresome old drone!
Davis.
O, I'll hoax him off in a few minutes.
You shall see. Only tell him of the quarrel here, & I'll put all the fault
of it upon him. He's soon frightened; & he takes every syllable one speaks
for Gospel.
[Enter Mr. Litchburn.]
Litchburn.
Good morrow, to you, good Mr. Dawson.
Good Mr. Davis, good morrow to you. The worthy Porter tells me my Lord Ardville
is gone abroad. I just come to ask you, my good Gentlemen, if you think his
good lordship will be pleased to condescend to expect I should do myself the
honour to wait in the ante-room?
Dawson.
Why, really, it's hard to say, Mr.
Litchburn, for yesterday evening my lord fell out with the whole family. It's
all what you may call a civil War.
Litchburn.
Civil, Mr. Dawson? I don't mean to
find fault, but if you call that civil, I am sure I don't know what's rude.
Dawson.
O,
that's only a way of speaking, as one may say; it has not much meaning. But
my lord has disinherited the whole race of 'em, one after t'other.
Litchburn.
I can't say but I am somewhat sorry
to hear it—not that I take such a liberty as to surmise such a notion as that
my Lord Ardville is not in the right—Heaven forbid I should so forget myself!
—but my lord Exbury is so good—and he is so hard put to it by his eldest
son, Mr. Mordaunt, as I hear—though I don't say it in any blame of the young
Gentleman. I hope I know what becomes me better. But he is a sad hand, that
Mr. Mordaunt. He cares for nothing & nobody. If the youngest had been the
eldest -
Dawson.
Ay, every body has a good word for
Mr. Valentine.
Litchburn.
But what is it has so disordered
my worthy patron, my good Gentlemen?
Dawson.Why Miss Hilaria Dalton has given him the go by.
Litchburn.
You don't say so? Dear Heart! He
must be sore affronted! We all thought it as good as a matrimony over.
Dawson.
And he will have it, because Lord
Exbury is her guardian, it was he made her refuse him; & both his nephews,
as well as his niece, he says, helped. Every body's in fault, by what I can
make out.
Litchburn.
Every body? Not poor I, I hope, Mr.
Dawson?
Davis.
O yes; you were the first person he mentioned, as being the worst.
Litchburn.
I? Dear Heart!
Davis.
Yes; for he hays, if it had not been for you, he should not have made the offer.
Litchburn.
For me?—This is quite the extraordinary!
Why I never spoke a word about it! nor even had so much as a thought, if I may
be believed!
Davis.
He has been stamping about his room
these two hours, & saying, says he, if it has not been for that old fool
Litchburn, says he -
Litchburn.
Dear Heart! old fool, did his lordship
say?
Davis.
If it had not been, says he, as I said before, for that old fool Litchburn,
this would never have happened, for it was only upon his advice I acted.
Litchburn.
Dear Heart, how my lord can say so!
However, if he's so angry, it's as well not contradict him; so take no notice
of my denying it, my good Gentlemen: but, if I may be believed, I never presumed
to open my lips upon such a thing since the hour I was born. However, if he
is so out of sorts, I had almost as lief put off the pleasure of having the
honour of paying my respects to him, till he has got the better of it. It may
only be troublesome; for I have not any thing particular to say. So I would
not disturb his lordship just for nothing. Good morning, Mr. Dawson. Mr. Davis,
good morning. You'll take no notice of my calling—Dear Heart! that's his lordship's
voice!—I wish I could slip out!—Can't you let me just pass that way, Mr.
Dawson? -
[Enter the Porter.]
Porter.
My lord is just returned; but he
only enquired if the family was set off, & if Mr. Litchburn had called;
& then went down towards the valley on foot, & desired that Mr. Litchburn
would be so good as to follow, & walk with him.
Litchburn.
Dear heart! how unlucky I had not
slid away!
Porter.
My lord says he can't wait a minute.
Litchburn.
My lord wait? No, to be sure, Mr.
Porter! I hope I know better what an honour it is to walk with my lord. I am
coming with the greatest haste.—Dear Heart! I wish I were further—if it
were not for the honour! [Exit.]
Davis.
Well, now, I would not have taken
an hundred pound not to have frightened that old Toby! (20)
—that is, not five shilling, I am sure.
Porter.
My lord asked for you too, Mr. Dawson.
[Exit.]
Dawson.
I don't doubt he did. He can never
be quiet two minutes without me. And, indeed, for that matter, little as I like
to say any thing in my own favour, if ever he'll meet with another man as useful
about his affairs, or one half as serviceable to him as I am—I'll give him
my wages for nothing. [Exit.]
Davis.
There's a swaggerer, now! (21)
For my part, I like nothing but plain speech. But I'd give, this very moment,
a thousand pound out of my pocket, to trounce that fortune-teller, for putting
young Gentlemen into Mrs. Innis's head—at least, a good half Crown. [Exit.]
Scene 2
[A magnificent Drawing Room.]
Miss
Exbury.
This
charming Sir Achy Fineer! how amazingly lucky he arrived before we were gone!
I wonder [taking out a pocket mirror] how my hair looks—O, not amiss.
I was sure that last ball would decide him. My dress was so becoming—I wonder
if he will speak to Papa first, or to me.—Hilaria!
[Enter Hilaria.]
Hilaria.
O
Miss Exbury, I bring you the most enchanting news! That divine cousin of mine,
Sir Archy Fineer -
Miss
Exbury.
Pho
—la!—what makes you suppose—how can you even imagine—dear Miss Dalton,
what can Sir Archy Fineer be to me?
Hilaria.
To
you? he is the most delightful creature upon earth to every body! He has just
sent in cards to us all for a most superb fête to be given at his house
next Tuesday.
Miss
Exbury.
A
fête? Indeed? Dear!—I wonder who it's for! Do you think he has any
particular object in view?
Hilaria.
Every
object, I doubt not, that is pretty, or brilliant, or fashionable, throughout
the metropolis.
Miss
Exbury.
We
shall just arrive in Grosvenor Square (22)
time enough to make our preparations. How amazingly lucky Papa & my Uncle
have quarreled!
Hilaria.
The
most fortunate thing in the world—though I am grieved at any vexation to
Lord Exbury.
Miss
Exbury.
But
is not Sir Archy very angry at your rejecting my uncle Ardville?
Hilaria.
Angry?
He is enraged. He has gathered it, I know not how, from the servants, &
vows he shall never rest till he brings the union to bear. Union! What a word!
Miss
Exbury.
Nay,
Miss Dalton, if to preside in Fashion would make you happy -
Hilaria.
Yes,
I acknowledge, as Lady Ardville I might be its very Empress—And nobody would
like it better. But though, at a distance, Fashion seemed all I desired, when
the decision rested with myself, my lord Ardville—pardon me, my dear Miss
Exbury, I would not say any thing shocking of your Uncle—but really, his
counteneance—his deportment—his Eyes—Oh! -
Miss
Exbury.
'Tis
all true; yet if Love alond could have sufficed, my brother Valentine -
Hilaria.
Nay,
did I ever deny that your Brother—that Valentine—but don't let me talk
nonsense. With my pitiful six thousand, joined to his pitiful five, we must
both have been poor & obscure, &, consequently, miserable. (23)
Miss
Exbury.
Will
you never, then, marry, till you can unite Love with Fashion?
Hilaria.
Never!
Miss
Exbury.
But
pray, now, do tell me,—don't you think it is amazingly odd that Sir Archy
Fineer should come down to my Uncle Ardville's?
Hilaria.
Not
at all. He's my cousin, you know.
Miss
Exbury.
How
blind she is! as if people came to see their relations! [aside] You
don't imagine, then, Miss Dalton, that he had any sort of—rather—particular
inducement?
Hilaria.
I
have hardly seen him yet. He had been with Lord Exbury, or with your Brothers
all the morning.
Miss
Exbury.
With
my Brothers?—Indeed!
Hilaria.
Yes.
Miss
Exbury.
O
then, I am sure... Do pray tell me if my Hair ... don't it look horrible?
And this frightful dress—is it not amazingly unbecoming? I never happenned
(24) to put my things on
so ill before. An't I quite horrid?
Hilaria.
By
no means. You look remarkably well. But I must run and see whether Sir Archy
has left Lord Exbury, for I have ten thousand enquiries to make of him. How
I long to be gone, & quit the dreary, drowsy country, for London—animated
London! [Exit.]
Miss
Exbury.
I
would give the World I had put on something prettier to day! Sir Archy has
such delightful taste!—How happy I shall be with him! I wonder what settlement
he will offer. (25) Something
very handsome, I make no doubt. But—do I look so remarkably well, I wonder?
[taking out the pocket mirror.]
[Re-enter Hilaria.]
Hilaria.
O
Miss Exbury, I am quite alarmed! Intending to pass through the next room,
which I thought empty, I surprised Lord Exbury alone, leaning upon a Table,
with an air so absorbed & melancholy, so unlike his usually serene &
chearful appearance, that I started back: but, hearing me open the door, he
raised his Eyes, & I saw in them an expression of care & disturbance
that struck me to the heart. I instantly withdrew; but heard him sigh so heavily,
I would have given the World to have offered him some consolation.
Miss
Exbury [to herself].
I
am sadly afraid it's because he don't like Sir Archy!—so I suppose I shall
have to go to Gretna Green! (26)
—and I have no tolerable travelling dress ready!—How tormenting!—Nothing
in the least becoming!—And Sir Archy is so elegant!—he'll hate any thing
not pretty .
Hilaria.
To
see Lord Exbury, my dear & honoured Guardian afflicted, makes me quite
unhappy. Surely he, whose whole study is to turn sorrow from others, should
be spared it himself!
Miss
Exbury.
I
wonder what he has said about pin-money [aside] (27)
—O, here's papa!
[Enter Lord Exbury.]
Lord
Exbury.
I
fear, my dear Hilaria, I have startled you. I need not, I am sure, say how
unintentionally. I must the less, however, regret it, since imperious necessity
compels my immediate disclosure of the uneasiness with which you saw me oppressed.
Hilaria.
Uneasiness?
Dear my lord! -
Miss
Exbury [to herself].
I
am afraid Sir Archy has offered something shabby.
Lord
Exbury.
I
will but enquire if Davis is returned, and then, my dear Girl, [to Miss
Exbury] I must unfold to you—Alas, perforce!—a tale that will demand
your fortitude as much as your attention.
Miss
Exbury [to herself].
Yes,
his proposals have certainly been very paltry! I could never have suspected
Sir Archy of such meanness. I won't go to Gretna Green with him, I'm resolved.
'Twould be very indelicate.
[Enter Davis.]
Lord
Exbury.
O,
Davis, you are come? Follow me to my room. The orders I have to give you admit
no delay.
Hilaria.
Speak
to him here, my dear lord, & let us retire till you summon us.
Miss
Exbury [to herself].
How
vexatious to go without hearing what he has said about the pin-money! For,
after all, very likely it has beenvery handsome. I dare say it's only Papa's
prejudice against Sir Archy.
[Exeunt Miss Exbury & Hilaria.]
Lord
Exbury.
Well,
Davis, have you had any success? Have you seen any small house, or cottage,
fitted for the style & family I described to you?
Davis.
O,
a thousand, my lord!—one, however, hard by, that will just do.
Lord
Exbury.
Hard
by? I am sorry for that! But I foresaw not, when I gave you the commission,
the events which now make this vicinity unpleasant to me. Have you seen nothing
of this description more distant?
Davis.
Nothing,
my lord, that's been lived in so lately. The old house-keeper who shewed me
this, told me its owners had not left it an hour.—That is,—not a week.
Lord
Exbury.
It
will be well-aired, then, & every thing now must yield to that recommendation.
Hasten back, therefore, & see (28)
that it be instantly secured & prepared.
Davis.
It
is completely ready now, my lord.
Lord
Exbury.
We
are all going hence, Davis, immediately.
Davis.
To London, my lord, to day?
Lord
Exbury.
No,
Davis, nor to-morrow. I know not when I may see London again.
Davis.
I dare say, my lord, Sims will have kept the house always ready for your lordship's
return.
Lord
Exbury.
I
have ordered it to be sold.
Davis.
Your
lordship means to live entirely in the country, then?
Lord
Exbury.
How
far distant is this cottage?
Davis.
Not
three inches out of the Park, my lord—not five yards, I am sure. Which of
your lordship's seats am I to order to be got ready? Exbury Hall?
Lord
Exbury.
I
have directed it should be let.
Davis.
Let?
—O, then—we are alltogether [sic] at Spring Lawn?
Lord
Exbury.
I
have instructed Sims to have that advertised.
Davis.
My
lord?
Lord
Exbury.
I
mean, for the present, to reside at this cottage. Order the carriages, therefore,
directly.
Davis.
This
cottage, my lord? Why it isn't so big as a nut-shell!—not big enough, however,
for a squirrel to nibble one in.
Lord
Exbury.
It
will the better suit me! [Sighing.]
Davis.
Besides,
my lord, people say it's haunted!
Lord
Exbury.
I
have no time, & no taste, Davis, for idle stories.
Davis.
It
won't hold half the household.
Lord Exbury.
My
household will be more than half diminished.
Davis.
Mercy
on me!
Lord
Exbury.
You
are a good fellow, Davis, & though extravagant in speech, honest at heart.
I have long found you a faithful, as well as a useful, domestic. It is painful
to me to explain myself, but a calamity has fallen upon my family, that makes
it necessary I should change my whole mode of living.
Davis.
Good
lauk!—but I hope, at least, -
Lord Exbury.
I
am sensible of your good will, Davis; but send off without delay to settle
every thing for our reception.
Davis.
Am
I not to write for some of the servants from town, my lord?
Lord
Exbury.
I
have employed Sims to discharge them all.
Davis.
Good
lauk! good lauk! -
Lord
Exbury.
'Twas
an ungrateful office, but indispensible. If I am able, some years hence, to
resume my usual mode of life, I shall seek them all back; &, if any of
them are not better provided for, gladly open my house to them. Pray, be quick.
Davis.
But
I hope, my lord,—I hope, my most honoured lord -
Lord
Exbury.
Send
my daughter to me as you pass, & lose no more time.
Davis.
Forgive
me, my lord,—pray do—pray forgive me—but -
Lord
Exbury.
What
is the matter Davis?
Davis.
Only
just let me make bold to ask—I hope, my lord, such an old servant as I am
i'n't to be discharged with the rest?
Lord
Exbury.
I
thank you, Davis; but your situation would be so changed, as to lose as much
in pleasure as in profit.
Davis.
O
my dear lord! I have been paid, an hundred and an hundred fold, for all my
poor services already.
Lord
Exbury.
I
am glad you think so. But the place would be too hard for you. I shall keep,
at present, only two men for everything, and -
Davis.
I
will do the work of twenty—& twenty million, my dear lord!—to stay
with you! -
Lord
Exbury.
My
good Davis! [laying his hand upon Davis's shoulder.] We will
surely, then, never part. I shall consider you, henceforth, as a friend.
Davis.
My
honoured lord!—I feel so proud!—I can't—hardly—keep the tears from
my Eyes!
Lord
Exbury.
Worthy
creature!—but hasten to my arrangements. I will go to my daughter, however,
myself. Your countenance, at this moment, would but give her new alarm. [Exit.]
Davis.
My
dear good lord!—He has one comfort left, however, for he sees, now, that
I serve him without the lucre of gain: & that's more than that proud,
ill-natured Lord Ardville, with all his fortune, will ever (29)
see, if he should live to be ninety methusalahs. (30)
Well, by what I can make out, your lords are much like other men; some good,
some bad. My own's of the best; & I would not but serve him, now he can
hardly pay me, to be made forty Emperors—at least, not a Justice of the
Peace. And, if Mrs. Innis would but think no more about young Gentlemen, I
had just as lief be poor as rich——that is,—if I can't help it!
END OF ACT I
