[An apartment. Harriet and Bella seated.]
Bel.
Nay but hear him—only hear him Harriet.
Har.
Can this be you, Bella, who this morning seemed fearful
that I should not treat him with sufficient Scorn, who would
now persuade me to allow a private interview to a man, who is
professedly the Lover of another?
Bel.
How apprehensive you are! Why must you suppose he wants
to talk to you about Love, or on any topic that his
approaching marriage would make improper?
Har.
Why, what can he have to say to me?
Bel.
Perhaps to consult your Taste about his Carriages—or
some Presents |o his Bride—or
Har.
Bella, this is downright Ridicule!
Bel.
Well then you wont admit him.—[Seeming to go]
Though he is going to leave us directly I shall tell him you
dont chuse to see him. But I approve your Caution, Harriet,
you are perfectly right.
Har.
Going to leave us directly, Bella!
Bel.
Immediately, my dear; I heard him order his chaise, and
mutter something about insupportable! But, I think you'll be
exceedingly imprudent in receiving his visit, and I advise
you by all means to refuse it.
Har.
Dear Bella!
Bel.
Well, then you will see him—I shall acquaint him.
But remember, Scorn Harriet—Scorn! [Exit.]
Har.
Now, what am I to expect? My heart beats strangely. But,
remember, foolish girl, the Picture of his mistress is in his
bosom!
[Enter Sir Charles.]
Sir Ch.
The request, Miss Hargrave, I ventured to make, by Miss
Sydney, must appear strange to you. The Engagements which
I—
Har.
Render it an extraordinary request, indeed, Sir!
Sir Ch.
I fear'd you would think so; and, conscious of those
engagements, I should not have presumed to have made it—but
that, as it is probably the last time I may ever see you, I
seize it—I know not with what view—to tell
you—that I adore you!
Har.
Sir Charles! I am astonish'd;—in my Father's house at
least, I should have been secure from such an insult.
Sir Ch.
Oh, forgive! Nothing could have driven me to this
declaration but Distraction.
Har.
The Picture you wear, Sir Charles, might console you, surely.
Sir Ch.
Ah! I thought you were ignorant Madam of my possessing it.
Har.
I am not, Sir; and I wonder how you could
presume—but I deserve this insult for listening to you a
moment. [Going.]
Sir Ch.
Oh, stay, Miss Hargrave, I intreat you.—I will give
up the Picture, since it so offends you—yet, how can
I part with it?
Har.
Oh, keep it, Sir—keep it by all means. I have no
right to claim such a Sacrifice. [Going.]
Sir Ch.
You have a right, Miss Hargrave; here it is—[kissing
and offering it]—but, do not rob me of it!
Har.
Rob you of it! In short, Sir Charles, you redouble your
rudeness every moment—
Sir Ch.
I did not think you would have so resented it; but, I
resign it to you—nay you must take it.
Har.
I take it, Sir!—[Glances it [sic],
then takes it with an air of Doubt]—My
Picture—incredible!
[Enter George and Bella, both laughing.]
Sir Ch.
Your Picture alone, Miss Hargrave, I could so value.
Geo.
Look at the Simpletons—ha! ha! ha!
Bel.
What a fine Attitude!—do it again, Sir Charles—ha!
ha! ha! Well Harriet, how do you like Sir Charles's mistress?
Is she as handsome as George represented her yesterday?
Geo.
Hold, hold! 'tis time now to have Mercy. My dear Harriet,
allow me to present you my most valued Friend, as the man
whom I should rejoice to see my Brother. To you, my Seymour,
I present a Sister—whose Heart has no engagement, that I
am acquainted with, to supercede your claim.
Sir Ch.
I am half frantic, with Joy and with Amazement.
Geo.
Forgive the embarrassment I have occasioned you; you have
suffered, but your felicity will be heighten'd by Comparison.
My dear Harriet, that Seymour has always loved you, the
picture that so offended you is a proof that you cannot
doubt.
Sir Ch.
And that you were so offended, is now my Bliss!
Har.
You, George and Bella, have taken a Liberty with me,
which you must never expect me to pardon.
Geo.
Nay, but you shall pardon; and in token thereof
—give him back your picture this minute!
Sir Ch.
Return it, I intreat you.
Bel.
Come, give the poor thing its bauble.
Har.
Well Sir, as you had no Share in this brilliant
contrivance—you make take the picture. [Gives it
him.] You, George, are never so happy, as in exercising
your Wit at my expence!
Geo.
And you, Harriet, never so heartily forgave me in all your
life—and therefore—
Sir Ch.
Hold, George; I cannot permit that Miss Hargrave should
suffer in this manner. This hour I shall ever remember
with—
Bel.
Come Harriet, I must take you away, that Sir Charles may
bring down his Raptures to the level of common mortals; at
present I see they have mounted him into the clouds.
Har.
'Tis merciful to relieve me! [Exit, with
Bella.]
Sir Ch.
Charming Miss Sydney!—I'll never quarrel with your
vivacity again. But, pray Sir, why have I been made to suffer
thus?
Geo.
Because you did not make me the confident of the Passion
which prompted you to obtain my Sister's picture. But, my
vengeance has been friendly; for my Plot has told you more of
my Sister's Heart in a few hours, than all your Sighs and
Humility would have obtained in as many months.
Sir Ch.
I thank you; and my present happiness receives a brighter
glow, from this illusion of misery. I'll fly and pour forth
my joy and gratitude at the feet of my charming Harriet.
[Going.]
[Enter Bella.]
Bel.
Oh, stay, stay—we may want your assistance. Here's
to your Father coming George. Your repartee to Lady Dinah, at
dinner, spoiled her Digestion, and she has been representing
you—that's all!
Geo.
I hope she represented her Sneer too; which suffused with
tears the loveliest eyes in the world. Could I do less than
support her against the Ill-humour of that antiquated
Pedant?—By Jupiter, I'll draw her in Colours to my
Father that shall make him shrink from the Fate he is
preparing for himself.
[Enter Mr. Hargrave.]
Mr. H.
Why, George, how's this? Do you know what you have
done?—you have affronted Lady Dinah.
Geo.
To affront her was not my Intention, Sir; I only meant to
convince her that she should not insult the amiable young
Lady whom Mr. Drummond placed here for Shelter.
Mr. H.
Dont tell me—Amiable young Lady! how do you know
what she is? On the footing on which you are with Lady Dinah,
let me tell you, if she had insulted a hundred young Ladies
you ought not to have seen it—at least not resented it.
Geo.
Pardon me, Sir! I did not conceive that Lady Dinah would
have assumed so much Privilege in your house—at least
not until she became your Wife.
Mr. H.
What!—what's that you say, Sir!
Geo.
This unexpected Remonstrance prompts me to express my
Astonishment, Sir, at your Attachment to that Lady. She is
the last woman in the World, Sir, whom we could wish to see
in the Station of our amiable Mother.
Mr. H.
—Your MOTHER!
Geo.
If you saw her in the light I do, Sir, you would think on
your Wedding-Day with dread!
Mr. H.
—Why—why—are you mad!
Geo.
Sir, if you wished to keep your Engagement to her a
Secret, then I am sorry I mentioned the Affair—but—
Mr. H.
Look ye Sir,—I now percieve that you have all that
backwardness in obeying me that I at first expected, and, in
order to conceal it, are attempting to make the connection
appear ridiculous. But, I give you Notice that wont do! I
know what I'm about, and my Commands shall not be disputed.
Geo.
Commands! Sir. What can this mean?—I am quite at a
loss—
Mr. H.
[Going] Well then, to prevent all further Mistakes, and
to stop all further Parley—I acquaint you, Sir, that I
design Lady Dinah, not for your Mother—but for your
WIFE:—and, moreover, that the Marriage shall take place
immediately! [Exit.]
[A long Pause, staring at each other.]
Bel.
So! so! so!—and is this the end of all the closetings?
Sir Ch.
What Confusion!—it must be all a Dream!
Geo.
Wife!—Lady Dinah my Wife.
Bel.
Ha! ha! ha!—Dear George, forgive me! but I must
laugh, or I shall exprie—ha! ha! ha! oh—my Cousin
Dinah!
Geo.
Pray, Bella, spare your Mirth, and tell me what I am to
do—for I am incapable of thinking.
Bel.
Do! why run to Lady Dinah! fling yourself at her feet,
tell her you had no idea that the Bliss was designed for you
!—and—ha! ha! ha!—that you'll make her the
tenderest, fondest, Husband in the world!
Geo.
Oh, Bella—for once forget your Sprightliness—I
cannot bear it. Seymour! what am I to do?
Sir Ch.
My dear George, I pity you from my Soul—but, I know
not what advice to give you.
Bel.
Well then, seriously; I think—but—ha! ha! ha!
'tis impossible to be serious! I am astonish'd you are not
more struck with your Father's tender Care of your future
Fortune, and Felicity!
Geo.
Have you no Mercy, Bella?
Bel.
You have none upon yourself, or, instead of standing
here, with that sorrowful countenance, you would be with Mr.
Drummond.
Geo.
Ah!—He is indeed my only Resource, I'll fly to him
this instant; if that fails me—I am the most miserable
man on Earth! [Exit.]
Sir Ch.
What can induce Mr. Hargrave to sacrifice such a fellow
as George—to a Lady Dinah!
Bel.
Her Rank and Fortune.—His god is Pluto, he forgets
that the ancients deified also Love. I dread the lengths to
which his Obstinacy may carry him. Let us find Harriet, and
tell her the strange Story;—but—she is not the only
person, I fear, to whom it will be painful.
Sir Ch.
Is it possible that Lady Dinah—in all the Profundity
of the Sagacity which she gives herself credit for—can
imagine such an union prudent?
Bel.
Come—be merciful!—No wonder that Love, which
has made Philosophers forget their Systems, and Heroes their
Valour, should make a woman—forget her Wrinkles!
Scene 2
[The Garden. Enter Jarvis and Susan.]
Jar.
Whu! 'tis a service of Danger. [Shrugging
his shoulders.]
Sus.
Sure—you've no qualms!
Jar.
No no, child, no qualms;—but, though an affair of
this sort would, in another region, make my Fortune, in this
cold Northen Latitude there's no room for the bold hits of a
man of Genius.
Sus.
Oh, dont despair—there's tolerable encouragement at
home!
Jar.
Why yes—in the first instance; but then, we've an
ill-manner'd custom, of a dozen people of dull Morals in a
Jury box being inquisitive every now and then. What the
Lawyers mean by Vacation I cant conceive; the fellows seem to
be always upon the Stir, and make a man constantly ask
himself—how will such an act tell next month at a
trial?—However, I must venture!—Let us consider our
foundation:—this Girl was placed under the care of the
old gentleman by a person of credit—
Sus.
Pho! she only brought a Recommendation. Dont we
know how easily a Character is to be had—of silver
purity, or of golden brightness? 'Tis a wonder she did
not obtain a Name too—I warrant she had sufficient
reasons to conceal her own.
Jar.
It does look like it; there's a Mystery in the affair.
Now, our Lady, you know, has often condescended to tell us
that the Philosophers say that we have a right of explaining
mysteries as we please.
Sus.
Aye, to be sure; and this is the Explanation.—She is
an artful Girl, who would rather be a fine Lady in real life
than merely acting the Character on a Country Stage;
and thinks the shortest way is by quitting it, and gaining
the heart of some credulous Youngster, who'll make her his
wife for the sake of her Beauty.
Jar.
True—That with this view she told her story to Mr.
Drummond, who—innocent soul—not seeing her drift,
introduced her here, where she plays off her artillery on the
gun-powder heart of George Hargrave, Esquire, the Younger.
Sus.
Delightful! My Lady will be quite in my power—I
shall, in turn, be Mistress after this! And, now I think
on't, I believe, to obtain the fruits of it, I must continue
to live with her—You and I can be married just the same
you know!
Jar.
Oh just the same, my dea, just the same; nothing shall
prevent that—[Aside. But my being able to coax
you out of the Two Hundred!]
Sus.
Hark! here comes the Justice. Slip away and leave me to
manage him; I'll at least, so hood-wink him, that he shall be
blind to our manoeuvers, and lend a willing ear to our
Proofs. You need not be jealous now.
Jar.
Jealous! no, no; I have none of your good sort of
people's vulgar feelings. [Exit.]
[Enter Justice.]
Jus.
Aye, aye! have I caught you, my little picksey? come, no
struggling—I will have a kiss, by Jingo.
Sus.
[Prevents him] Laws, you are the strangest
Gentleman—
Jus.
You are mighty coy, methinks!
Sus.
Coy—so I should be. What have Gentlewomen, without
Fortune, else to recommend them?
Jus.
Aye, but that rosy pouting mouth tells different tales I
warrant to the fine gentlemen in London.
Sus.
Lawk! Sir, why dont you return to London? Lady Dinah
speaks mightily of your Talents, and says, if you'll try your
Luck again, you need not be a Justice—but a Lawyer; and
that, to make up for your not having Interest before, you
shall have all her's—when she is Lady Dinah
Hargrave.—But pray! wont Mr. Drummond be in the way of
all this, isn't he against the Match?
Jus.
Oh, I know nothing of him He's queer and close.
One can never get him in at a bout—he's not staunch!
Sus.
I believe he is not staunch to our match; and, if that is
prevented, we shall leave you in the Country directly!
Jus.
Who can prevent the match, Sweety?
Sus.
Perhaps Mr. Drummond;—he can manage Mr.
Hargrave.
Jus.
Not so well as I can, I believe, you little sly rogue
you! [Chucking her chin.]
Sus.
Use all your Interest, and bring the match about; then we
shan't part—you sly little rogue you! [Chucking his
chin.]
Jus.
Oh, I'll plead for the Wedding!
Sus.
Well, but that's not all.—I dont like the young
Stranger this same 'Squire got room for here!
Jus.
Adad, the sparklings of her Eye fire one's heart as if it
were made of tinder.
Sus.
Upon my word! the sparklings of her, eye!
Jus.
Oh—I dont mean—that is—Oh, I would rather
have one kind look of thine, sweet Mrs. Sukey, than—
Sus.
Ah! I believe you're a Coquette!—However, I think
there are reasons for getting this sparkling Angel out of the
house. I have observed looks, I dont like, between her and
young Hargrave, and, you comprehend me, whatever interrupts
the Marirage—we leave you!
Jus.
Let me see—and consider—and weigh—
Sus.
Not Scruples of Conscience—to nicely!—Mr.
Justice!
Jus.
Not if your Smiles should draw off my Attention
—sweet Mrs. Sukey.
Sus.
You wont oppose, if we should show full grounds for
sending her packing?
Jus.
Why, on the Honour of a Magistrate, I must oppose—if
the grounds are clearly illegal;—to be sure the Law is
not very apt to be clear—Come now, give me one
kiss, you little, dear, cruel, soft, sweet, charming baggage.
Sus.
Oh, fie! you wont ask your wages before your contract is
performed—[Runs off.]
Jus.
[following] Stop—dont run so fast!—dont run so
fast, Hussey—[Exit.]
Scene 3
[An Apartment at Hargrave's. Enter Mr. Drummond and George.]
Mr. D.
I wish I had known all this, before proceedings had gone so
far. On a Subject of this nature, no woman can be affronted
with Impunity.
Geo.
I am careless of her Resentment. I will never be her
Husband; nor husband to any woman—but her to whom I have
given my vows.
Mr. D.
Ah! are your proceedings so forward?
Geo.
Yes, Sir; I have made the offer of my heart and head; and,
though her Delicacy forbids her to give, whilst our families
remain unknown to each other, the assent my Heart aspires
to—yet, she allows me to catch hopes, that I would not
forfeit to become Master of the Universe.
Mr. D.
There's a little of the Ardor of Youth in this—the
Rashness of Youth, George. However, I will not blame you;
many, who are now old and prudent, once would have entered
the lists with equal ardor in competition for such an object.
Geo.
The more the better! I would bear off my lovely prize
from amidst an embattled Phalanx.
Mr. D.
I dont restrain you George! I like to see a man romantic
in Love and Friendship: he who is not an Enthusiast in those
noble passions, has not a Mind of sufficient Strength—
to rise hereafter into flights of Honour, Fortitude, and
Patriotism.—But, begone! here comes your Father.
Geo.
May the Subject inspire you with resistless reasoning.
[Exit.]
[Enter Mr. Hargrave.]
Mr. D.
So! Mr. Hargrave.
Mr. H.
So, Mr. Drummond; what, I guess your business!
Mr. D.
I suppose you do; and I hope you are prepared to hear me
with Temper.
Mr. H.
You'll talk to no purpose; for, like most who listen to
Reason, I have already an unchangeable opinion.
Mr. D.
Strange Infatuation! why must George be sacrificed to
your Ambition? Surely it may be gratified without marrying him
to your Lady Dinah.
Mr. H.
How?
Mr. D.
By marrying her yourself, which, till now, all supposed
to have been your design;—and that would have
been sufficiently preposterous!
Mr. H.
What! make me, a second time, the Slave of Hysterics, and
Vapours! no, no, it is his turn now; I have escaped, catch me
again who can.—What, her Ladyship is not youthful enough
for George—that's the objection I suppose?
Mr. D.
True, and the consequent dissonance of their Minds; it
would not be less reasonable to expect a compact between Fire
and Water, than agreement in such a marriage.
Mr. H.
Pshaw!—I tell you the study of my life has been to
make George—a Great Man; I brought Lady Dinah here with
no other design. And now, when I thought the matter was
brought to bear, when Lady Dinah had consented, and my son,
as I supposed, was ready for the wedding—why! 'tis all a
flam!
Mr. D.
My good friend—the motives, on which you would
sacrifice your son's Happiness, appear to me so weak—
Mr. H.
Weak!—why I have so managed, as to provide a wife
for George who will make him perhaps one of the First Men in
the kingdom!
Mr. D
That is, she would make him a Court-Dangler—an attendant
on Minister's Levees—one whose Ambition is to be
foster'd with the Cameleon food of Smiles and Nods, and who
would receive a familiar squeeze with more rapture—than
the Plaudits of a Nation!—You would transform An
Independent English Gentleman into such a Being, and fancy
you had made him—GREAT!
Mr. H.
Well, I'll cut the Argument short;—George shall
marry Lady Dinah, or never have an Acre of my Land, that's
all.
Mr. D.
And he never shall possess a Rood of mine if he does! [Crossing
each other; and traversing the Stage.]
Mr. H.
There, I thought 'twould come to this; what a Shame it is
for a man to be so obstinate! [Aside. But hold! if so,
I may lose more than I get by the bargain!—he'll stick
to his word.]
[Enter Justice.]
Jus.
I am very much surprized, Mr. Drummond, Sir, that I cant be
let alone in the discharge of my Magisterial Duties, but must
be continually thwarted by you!
Mr. D.
This Interruption, Mr. Justice, is ill-timed, and rather
out of rule;—I could wish you had chosen another
opportunity.
Jus.
You've a mighty right indeed, to complain of my not
observing rules, Sir—you, who are continually breaking
the Laws!
Mr. D.
Ha! ha! ha!—What hen-roost robbery have you to lay
to my Charge now?
Jus.
Aye, Sir, you may think to turn it off by a Joke, if you
please; but, for all that, I can prove you to be a bad member
of Society—for you counteract the wise designs of our
Legislators, and obstruct the Operations of
Justice,—yes, Sir, you do!
Mr. H.
Dont be so warm. What is this affair?
Jus.
Why, the Poacher, whom we committed last night, Mr. Drummond
has released, and given money to his Family! How can we
expect a due Observance of our laws, when there is such
shocking encouragement for breaking them?—Shall the
Lords and Commons, in their Wisdom, assemble in parliament to
make Laws about Hares and Partidges—only to be laughted
at?—'tis abominable!
Mr. H.
Very true! And let me tell you, Mr. Drummond, it is very
extraordinary that you will be continually—
Mr. D.
Peace! ye men of Justice. I have all the regard for the
Laws of my Country which it is the Duty, and the Interest, of
every member of Society to feel:—if the man had been a
practised Poacher he should not have been protected by me;
—the poor fellow found the Hare in his garden, which she
had considerably injured—
Mr. H.
Oh—oh! What, the rascal justifies himself!—an
unqualified man give Reasons for destroying a
Hare!—Destruction! if a gang of ruffians should burn my
house—would you expect me to hear their Reasons?
Jus.
[Aside. Aye, there it works! a quarrel between may be
useful Mistress Susan!]—There can be no
reasons—if he had found her in his house—or on his
table—and offered to touch her, I'd prosecute him for
poaching.
Mr. D.
We were talking on a subject, Mr. Hargrave, of more
importance, at present, than this; and I beg you'll hear me
further.
Mr. H.
Enough has been said already, Mr. Drummond!—or, if
not, I'll give you one Answer for all;—I shall never
think myself obliged to study the Humour of a man who thinks
in such opposition to me. I have a humour of my own, which I
am determined to gratify in seeing George—a Great
Man!—He shall marry Lady Dinah in two days; and all the
Reasoning in the world, you will see, has less strength than
my Resolution;—if I cant have the willing obedience of a
Son, I'll enjoy the Prerogatives of a Father.—Come along
Justice. [Exit.]
[The Justice following—returns.]
Jus.
I did not know he was inclined to be so much up, Mr.
Drummond, but I hope—
Mr. D.
Why don't you follow, Sir! [Exit Justice.]—My
Son shall be—a Great Man!—To such a Vanity as this,
how many have been sacrificed! The happiness of Love, the
felicities of a suitable Union, his Heart may be a stranger
to;—but he shall convey my NAME, deck'd with
rank, to a Posterity I shall never see, though for this he
may live a wretch!—This is the selfish Motive which
beings, supposed to be rational, mislead themselves to
believe is—Paternal Care!—This is the silent
language of the Heart, which they persuade themselves is the
dictate of Reason and of Prudence—
[Enter Emily.]
Miss Morley!—why this pensive air?
Em.
I am distressed, Sir. The delicacy of the motive, which
induced you to place me here, I am perfectly sensible
of—yet—
Mr. D.
Yet what, my dear child?
Em.
Do not think me capricious, if I entreat you to take me back
to your own house, till my Uncle arrives—I cannot think
of remaining here.
Mr. D.
[Aside—'Tis then as I hoped.]—What can
have disgusted you?—Come, be frank; consider me as a
friend to whom you can safely open your Heart.
Em.
Your goodness, Sir, is excessive.—If I must explain
myself, the Lady who will soon have most right here treats me
unkindly.
Mr. D.
That you cannot wonder at. Be assured I will effectually
defend you from her insults. But—do you not pity poor
George for the fate his father designs for him?
Em.
Yes—I do pity him.
Mr. D.
If I dared—I would go still further—I would
hope that, as his Happiness depends on you—
Em.
Sir!
Mr. D.
Let me not alarm you. I am acquainted with his Love for
you—May I know that it is not displeasing to you?
Em.
So circumstanced, Sir—what can I say? He is destined to
be the husband of another.
Mr. D.
It is enough. I pledge myself to you from this moment,
and promise to effect your happiness, if within the compass
of my abilities or Fortune. But, that I may know my task
—favour me with the key to your Uncle's Character.
Em.
My Uncle—Sir—possesses a heart that would do him
honour, if he would be guided by it. But, unhappily, he has
conceived an opinion that his Temper is too
flexible—that he is too easily persuaded; and the
Conseuqnce is, he'll never be persuaded at all.
Mr. D.
I am sorry to hear that; a man who is positive from such
a mistake, must be in the most incurable stage of obstinacy.
However, we'll attack this man of Might; his inflexibility
shall be besieged, and if it wont capitulate, we'll undermine
it.
Em.
Ah, Sir! my Uncle is in a state of mind ill prepared for
yielding.—He returned from Spain with eager pleasure, to
his native country; but, the Disgust he has conceived at the
alteration of Manners, whch he supposes to have taken place,
during his absence has give him an Impatience that you will
hardly be able to combat.
Mr. D.
Take Courage! Let me, for the present, lead you back to
your companions. I am obliged to be absent, it is but for a
short time; I'll watch over you, and if, possible, lead you
to Happiness. [Exit, leading Emily.]
[Enter Mr. Hargrave and Lady Dinah.]
Mr. H.
Aye, aye—Mr. Drummond's fine feelings have produced
an adventure in my family indeed! and yet,I am a little
puzzled—a Stroller—
Lady D.
It is, doubtless, an extraordinary Story, Mr.
Hargrave—and I beg you will yourself question my servant
concerning it.
Mr. H.
Why, what can the Design be?
Lady D.
To you I should imagine the Design must be very
obvious, though Mr. Drummond's penetration was so easily
eluded. By assuming the airs and manners of a person of
station, she doubtless expects to carry some young heir on a
Northern Jaunt, Mr. Hargrave!
Mr. H.
Oh!—now, I understand your Ladyship! if your man can
prove what he asserts, be assured she shall not stay in my
house another moment.—We have no Young Heir to spare,
here.
Lady D.
But consider, dear Mr. Hargrave—before you take any
steps in this affair—that 'tis possible we may have been
deceived. For, though my servant avows he is sure of
her—yet, he may be mistaken—
Mr. H.
Oh, Lady Dinah—I shall see into that immediately.
[Enter Justice.]
Jus.
[Aside. Why the Gipsey seems to have found out a Charge
against her, with a vengeance.]—Where does my
Clerk stay with Burn!—But, I know I am
right;—yes,yes—'tis a clear case. By the Statute Anno
primo Caroli Secundi, obtaining goods on false pretences
is felony—with Benefit—h-r-r-m—with Benefit
—[Goes to the Side.] Tell my Clerk to bring up
Burn, and the Young Man the Witness—d'ye hear?—Now,
obtaining Entrance into Houses, upon false pretences, must be
worse.—I have no doubt that it amounts to a Burglary,
and that I shall be authorized to commit—
[Enter Jarvis, and the Justice's Clerk.]
Here Witness, do you stand there. [The Clerk gives him Burn's Justice]—In the first place—[settling his Wig]—in the first place, how old are you?
Mr. H.
Fiddle de dee—What signifies how old he is?
Jus.
Why, yes it does—for—if he is not of Age
competent—
Mr. H.
Pshaw, Pshaw—I'll examine him myself—[The
Justice pores over Burn.] How long is it since you left
the Strollers you were engaged with?
Jar.
It is about two years since I had the Honour of being taken
into my Lady's service—I had left the Company a month.
Mr. H.
And did you leave the young Lady in the Company, when you
quitted it?
Jar.
Yes, Sir; and I have never seen her since, till now.
Mr. H.
I am strangely puzzled—I dont know what to
think—
Jus.
It is indeed a difficult Case—a very difficult
case—Burn says, in his chapter on VAGRANTS—
Mr. H.
Prithee be silent—this time you are not likely to clear
up matters.
Jus.
A Justice be silent!—A silent Justice!—a pretty
thing indeed—close the mouth of the Law!
Mr. H.
What does your Ladyship advise?
Lady D.
I advise! I dont advise, Mr. Hargrave!
Jus.
Why then let the Parties be
confronted.—[Rings]
Jar.
Aye, aye, let us see one another! when I have once accused
her a little—she'll be too much dash'd to be able to
deny the Charge!
[Enter Servant.]
Mr. H.
Go and tell my Daughter, that I desire she'll bring her
Visitant here—the young Lady. [Exit Servant.]
Jar.
[Aside. Two glasses of Brandy—and tremble
yet! I wish I'd swallowed the third Bumper!]
[Enter Harriet and Emily.]
Har.
Robert informs us, Sir, that you request our attendance.
Mr. H.
Yes, Harriet—I did send Robert—'Tis about an
odd affair—I had rather—but I dont know. Pray,
Madam, be so kind as to tell us if you know any thing of that
person?—[Pointing to Jarvis.]
Em.
No, Sir, I believe not—I do not recollect——I
may have seen him before.
Jar.
Humph!—What, Miss Jenny! you dont
recollect—what have you forgot your old companion
William Jarvis?
Em.
I do not remember indeed that I was ever honoured with
such a companion; and the mistake you have made in my Name
convinces me I never was.
Jar.
Poh, poh! This wont do now! You was always a
good Actress; but, you know when we are not on the
Stage—we come down from our Stilts, and talk in our own
proper persons.—Why sure, you will not pretend to forget
our Adventures at Colchester—or the affair of the blue
Domino at Warwick?
[Emily expresses the utmost Surprise.]
Har.
Dear Sir, nothing is more evident than that the man has
mistaken this Lady for another person. I hope you'll permit
us to go, without enduring more impertinence.
Mr. H.
If he is mistaken——I dont know what to
say—'tis a perplexing business. But, I wish you would be
so kind as to answer the man, Madam.
Em.
Astonishment has kept me silent until now Sir—and I
must be silent in future;—I have not been taught to make
Defences!
[Enter George, behind Jarvis.]
Jar.
Dear Ma'am, why surely you have not forgot how often you
have been my ROXANA, and I your ALEXANDER?
Geo.
Hark ye, Sir!—Dare utter another Word to that Lady,
and I'll be your Destruction;—leave the room, Rascal,
this instant.
Mr. H.
You are too hot, George. He shall stay; and since things
are gone so far, I'll sift the story thoroughly. If the young
Gentlewoman is not what he represents her, she has nothing to
fear.—Speak boldly; where did you last see that Lady?
Jus.
Aye, speak boldly; give her a few more
Circumstances—perhaps some of them may hit;—People
on occasions of this sort want their Memories refreshed.
Geo.
Surely, Sir, you cannot allow this—
Mr. H.
I do allow, Sir—and, if you cant be silent, leave
the room.
Jus.
Aye, Sir, or else you'll be committed for Contempt of
Court!—Now, for your Name, child, your Name, and that of
your family?
Em.
The Name of my Family—demanded on such an
occasion—I think myself bound to conceal. My silence on
that subject, hitherto, arose from a point of Delicacy, and
that motive is now greatly strengthened. I refuse to discover
a Name which my rash conduct may subject to temporary
disgrace.
Jus.
Oh—Oh!—the Proof's clear, for, she refuses to
answer Interrogatories!
Geo.
Sir, I cannot be a silent witness of these
Insults.—Your presence, Lady Dinah, supports that
Rascal, or he should feel the immediate Effects of my
resentment.
Lady D.
Your resentment will be unnecessary, Sir. If he is not
supported by Truth—I shall take care that he is properly
punished.
[Enter Servant.]
Serv.
A Gentleman, in a Coach and four, is at the
Gates—his name is Morley.
Em.
Ah!—'tis my Uncle!—Now, Sir, you will be
satisfied concerning my Family—and I no longer dread his
presence! [Exeunt Emily, Harriet, and Servant.]
Mr. H.
[to Lady D.] Her Uncle, Lady Dinah!—What means all
this? [Exit.]
Lady D.
Mean!—[Nothing—madness!—Aside.]
Jus.
[Aside. The Niece of a man who keeps a Coach and four!
What, Mistress Susan, all Invention!—sly Cupid
blinded me, or I should have seen clearer.] How's all
this—I must enquire—and—[Going.]
Geo.
Stay Sir, we have not done with you yet; you have another
Office yet to perform—what says your Oracle Burn to such
a Fellow as this, Justice?
Jus.
Aye, you rascal—'tis now your turn! Thou art a
Vilifier, a Cheat, an Impostor!—'tis a downright
Conspiracy.—The Niece of a man who keeps a Coach and
four!—why how dost think to escape?—thou'lt cut a
noble figure in the Pillory, Mr. Alexander the Great!
Jar.
Sir—your honours—I humbly crave pardon for my
mistake—the likeness is so strong I could have sworn the
Lady had been my old acquaintaince—but, I implore
pardon;—my Lady!
Lady D.
The dilemma into which you have deceived me excites my
warmest Resentment. Expect no protection from me;—from
this moment I discharge you from my Service.
Geo.
Since your Ladyship gives him up, he has no
protection—who's there?—[Enter Servants.]
Secure this fellow, until I have leisure to enquire into the
Origin of this affair—he is only an Agent I am
convinced!
Jar.
Why, aye, Sir—[Aside. But I am dumb, or—we
shall lose the reward!]—I implore your Honour!
'twas but a Mistake.
Geo.
Away with him! [Exeunt Servants with Jarvis.]
Lady D.
[Aside. Ah! are you suspicious, Sir!—I hope Susan
has not disobey'd me, and put me into Jarvis's power—I
must be sure of that!] [Exit]
Jus.
'Tis a Conspiracy, that's certain—and will, I
believe, come under Scan Mag—for 'tis a most
scandalous Libel!—But, let me see—it can be no
Libel—for 'tis a false story—if it had been
true—aye, then indeed—if it had been
true!—but, I'll retire home to my Study, and [Rubbing
his forehead] consult Burn without disturbance—and
find out the meaning of what he says; you shall know it I
warrant ye! [Exit, with his Clerk.]
Geo.
Surely, surely she must have been privy to this infamous
plot!—My Fate is at its Crisis—Mr. Morley's arrival
determines it.—At this moment, my Fortitude forsakes me,
I tremble to meet the man, on whose Caprice depends all my
Interest in Existence! [Exit.]
END OF ACT IV
