Inchbald, Elizabeth. The
Wedding
Day. Ed. Thomas C. Crochunis and Susan Hyon. British Women Playwrights
around 1800.
15 June 2003.
About the
text
This text
has
been posted in cooperation with the public reading series "The
First
100 Years: The Professional Female Playwright"
in New York City
curated by Mallory Catlett and Gwynn MacDonald. For
information on
that series, please visit the Juggernaut Theatre
website—
www.juggernaut-theatre.org
The text of The Wedding Day
is
based on the 1794
edition printed for G. G. and J. Robinson [etc.] in
London.
The play
was first performed on 1 Nov 1794 at Drury Lane. The
electronic
version
of the text from a full-text database is curently being
compared to
a
microform facsimile of the 1794 printing and to
the text of the play
included
in The British Theatre
(1806-09),
a series of plays for
which Inchbald wrote prefaces. (The
British
Theatre
version is the facsimile from Roger Manvell (ed.),
Selected
Comedies
of Elizabeth Inchbald.) Two members of the
editorial board have
proof-read
the original. When the BWP1800
edition is completed, it will include
notation
of significant
variants between these two versions of the play.
The original 1794 publication
included a
prologue not included in The British
Theatre's
edition.
Act I - Act
II - Main Page
THE
WEDDING
DAY.
A COMEDY, IN TWO ACTS.
PERFORMED AT THE THEATRE ROYAL,
DRURY
LANE
PROLOGUE. [By
Vaughan, T.]
BY
T. VAUGHAN, ESQ.
Spoken by Mr. BARRYMORE.
The title
giv'n to our play
Is whimsical and odd, you'll say,
Because
announc'd---The Wedding Day.
But know you not, my friends
above,
[To the Galleries.]
'Tis what you one and
all approve?
For when you squeeze each other's hand,
And find
your wishes at a stand,
You press the Wedding Day, and
cry,
Come, let's to church, my dear, and try
Who loves the
truest---you or I.
Then as 'tis known a day of bliss,
Pray
let it not prove here
amiss;
For tho' elop'd---I know not
how---
From Next door
Neighbours---just
below---
And hither come to make her
bow---
Like other trips of gallant love,
Constant to both you'll find
her prove.
Or
who is right, or who is wrong,
With me to state does not
belong;
But only to proclaim the banns,
And leave to you th'
applauding hands;
Nor hope to find one critic here
Will dare
forbid our Wedding Cheer;
But give their usual friendly
boon,
And let's enjoy the
honey-moon.
To laugh is all our author means
In what
she pourtrays in her scenes,
And aims, in all she dares to
write,
To make her Wedding Day---a merry
night.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE.
Lord
Rakeland - Mr. Barrymore.
Sir
Adam Contest - Mr. King.
Mr.
Millden - Mr. Packer.
Mr.
Contest - Mr. C. Kemble.
Lady
Autumn - Miss Tidswell.
Lady
Contest - Mrs. Jordan.
Mrs.
Hamford - Mrs. Hopkins.
Hannah - Miss Heard.
Several Servants.
Scene, London. Time,
One
Day.
ACT I.
SCENE
I.
An Apartment at Lord Rakeland's.
Enter a
Servant, followed by Lord Rakeland.
Lord
Rakeland.
At home? To be sure I am---how could you make
any doubts about it?
[Exit Servant.] Deny me to my old acquaintance,
and favourite friend,
Tom Contest!
Enter Mr.
Contest.
My dear Contest, I congratulate us both that
your travels are
completed, and that you are come to taste, for the
remainder of your
life, the joys
of your own
country.
Mr. Contest.
Whether to taste
joy or sorrow I am yet in doubt; for I am uncertain in
what manner I
shall be received by my father.
Lord
Rakeland.
Have not you seen him
yet?
Mr. Contest.
No:---nor dare I
till I know in what humour he is.
Lord
Rakeland.
In a good one, you may depend upon it; for he
is very lately
married.
Mr.
Contest.
To my utter concern! I heard some time ago
indeed, that it was his
design to marry again; but as he has never
condescended to make me
acquainted with it himself, I know nothing
farther respecting the
marriage than what public report has thrown in
my way. Pray can you
tell me who my new mother
is?
Lord Rakeland.
I am told she is
very young, extremely lively, and prodigiously
beautiful. I am told
too that she has been confined in the country,
dressed, and treated
like a child, till her present age of eighteen, in
order to preserve
the
appearance of youth in her mother.
Mr.
Contest.
But who is her mother? Of what family is
she?
Lord Rakeland.
That I don't
know---and I suppose your father did not consider of what
family she
was, but merely what family she was likely to
bring
him.
Mr. Contest.
Yes, I have no
doubt but he married on purpose to disinherit me, for
having written
to him, "that I had fixed my affections upon a widow of
small
fortune, but one who was so perfectly to my wishes, that even
his
commands could not force me to forsake
her."
Lord Rakeland.
And were you in
earnest?
Mr. Contest.
I thought I was
then: but at present I am more humble. I have implored
his pardon for
those hasty expressions, and now only presume by
supplication
to
obtain his approbation of my choice.
Lord
Rakeland.
Is she a foreigner?
Mr.
Contest.
No; an English woman.---We met at Florence
---parted at Venice---and
she arrived in London just four days before
me.
Lord Rakeland.
And when will you
introduce me to her?
Mr. Contest.
Are
you as much a man of gallantry as ever? If you are, you shall
first
promise me not to make love to her.
Lord
Rakeland.
As to that, my dear friend, you know I never
make a promise when I
think there is the least probability of my
breaking it.
Mr. Contest.
Then
positively you shall not see my choice till I am secure of her.
But I
can tell you what I'll do---I'll introduce you to my
young
mother-in-law, if you like.
Lord
Rakeland.
My dear friend, that will do quite as well---
nay, I don't know if it
won't do better. Come, let us go
directly.
Mr. Contest.
Hold! not till
I have obtained my father's leave:---for, after
offending him so
highly as not to hear from him these six months, I
thought it
necessary to send a letter to him as soon as I arrived this
morning,
to beg his permission to wait upon him. And here, I suppose,
is his
answer.
Enter a Servant, and gives a letter to Mr.
Contest.
Servant.
Your servant enquired
for you, Sir, and left
this.
[Exit.]
[Mr. Contest breaks
open the letter hastily, and reads.]
Mr.
Contest.
An invitation to go to his house immediately.
[He reads the
remainder of the letter, and then expressing
surprise] ---Why my
father tells me he was only married this very
morning! I heard he was
married a week ago!
Lord
Rakeland.
And so did I---and so did half the town. His
marriage has even been in
the newspapers these three
days.
Mr. Contest.
Ay, these things
are always announced before they take place: and I
most sincerely
wish it had been delayed still longer.
Lord
Rakeland.
I do not---for I long to have a kiss of the
bride.
Mr. Contest.
Pshaw! my Lord: as
it is the wedding day, I cannot think of taking you
now: it may be
improper.
Lord Rakeland.
Not at all,
not at all. A wedding day is a public day; and Sir Adam
knows upon
what familiar terms you and I are. Indeed, my dear friend,
my
going
will be considered but as neighbourly. I can take no denial---I
must
go.
Mr. Contest.
Well, if it must
be so, come then. [Going, stops.]
Notwithstanding the cause I
have for rejoicing at this kind invitation
from my father, still I
feel embarrassed at the thoughts of appearing
before him, in the
presence of his young wife; for I have no doubt but
she'll take a
dislike to me.
Lord Rakeland.
And if
she should, I have no doubt but she'll take a liking to me. So come away, and be
in
spirits.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE
II.
An Apartment at Sir Adam Contest's.
Enter Sir
Adam, drest in white clothes like a Bridegroom.
Sir
Adam.
Nothing is so provoking as to be in a situation
where one is expected
to be merry---it is like being asked in company
"to tell a good story,
and
to be entertaining;" and then you are sure
to be duller than ever you
were
in your life. Now, notwithstanding
this is my wedding day, I am in such
a
blessed humour that I should
like to make every person's life in this
house
a burthen to them. But
I won't [Struggling
with
himself] ---No, I won't.---What
a continual combat is mine! To
feel a perpetual tendency to every vice,
and
to possess no one
laudable quality, but that of a determination to
overcome
all my
temptations. I am strongly impelled to violent anger, and yet
I
have
the resolution to be a calm, peaceable man---I am inclined
to
suspicion,
yet I conquer it, and will place confidence in
others---I am disposed
to
malice, yet I constantly get the better of
it---I am addicted to love,
yet
I---No, hold!---there I must stop---
that is a failing which always did
get
the better of me. Behold an
instance of
it.
Enter Lady Contest slowly and pensively, drest
like a Bride.
Sir Adam. [Aside.]
Now I
will be in a good humour, in spite of all my doubts
and
fears.
Lady Contest.
Did you send
for me, Sir Adam?
Sir Adam.
Yes, my
dear; your guardian is just stept home, to bring his wife to
dine
with us; and I wished to have a few minutes conversation with
you.
Sit down. [They sit.] I observed, Lady Contest (and
it
gave me
uneasiness),
that at church this morning, while the
ceremony was performing, you
looked
very pale. You have not yet
wholly regained your colour: and instead of
your
usual cheerful
countenance and air, I perceive a pensive,
dejected---Come,
look
cheerful. [Very sharply]---Why don't you look cheerful?
[Checking
himself, and softening his
voice]
---Consider,
every one should be
happy upon their wedding day, for it is a day
that seldom comes above
once in a person's
life.
Lady Contest.
But with you, Sir Adam, it
has come
twice.
Sir Adam.
Very true---it
has---and my first
was a day
indeed! I shall never forget it! My wife was as young as you
are
now---
Lady Contest.
And you were
younger than you are now.
Sir
Adam.
[Starts---then
aside]---No, I won't be
angry. [To her]---She
was beautiful too---nay more, she was good;
she possessed every
quality.---But this is not a proper topic on the
present occasion; and
so, my dear, let us
change the
subject.
Lady Contest.
Pray, Sir Adam,
is it true that your son is come to town?
Sir
Adam.
It is; and I expect him here every
moment.
Lady Contest.
And have you
invited no other company all day?
Sir
Adam.
Your guardian and his wife, Mr. and Mrs.
Ploughman, you know, will be
here; and what other company would you
have?
Lady Contest.
In the country we
had always fiddles and dancing at every wedding; and
I declare I have
been merrier at other people's weddings, than I think
I
am likely to
be at my own.
Sir Adam.
If you loved
me, Lady Contest, you would be merry in my company alone.
Do you love me? My first
wife
loved me dearly.
Lady
Contest.
And so do I love you dearly---just the same as
I would love my father,
if he were alive.
Sir Adam.
[Aside.]
Now couldI lay her at my feet for that
sentence. But I won't---I
won't. [Struggling with himself]
Answer me this---would you
change husbands with any
one of your
acquaintance?
Lady Contest.
What
signifies now my answering such a question as that, when I am
sure
not one of my acquaintance would change with
me?
Sir Adam.
What makes you think so?
[Violently]--- [Softening]---Your equipage will be by far
the most splendid of
any lady's you will visit. I have made good my
promise in respect to
your jewels too; and I hope you like them?
Lady
Contest.
Like them! to be sure!---Oh my dear Sir Adam,
they even make me like
you.
Sir Adam.
A very
poor proof of your love, if you can give me no
other.
Lady Contest.
But I'll give you
fifty others.
Sir Adam. [Anxiously.]
Name them.
Lady
Contest.
First---I will always be obedient to
you.
Sir Adam.
That's
well.
Lady Contest.
Second---I will
never be angry with you if you should go out and stay
for a
month---nay, for a year---or for as long as ever you
like.
Sir Adam. [Aside, and struggling with his
passion.]
Sure I was not born to commit murder? I had
better go out of the
room.
Lady Contest. [Humming a
tune.]
"And old Robin Gray was kind to
me."
Sir Adam. [Rising in agitation.]
Oh my first wife, my first wife, what a treasure was
she! But my
treasure is gone!
[Sighing.]
Lady Contest.
Not
all your money, I hope, Sir Adam; for my guardian told me you had
a
great deal.
Sir Adam.
And did you
marry me for that? What makes you blush? Come, confess to
me---for
there was always a sincerity in your nature which charmed me
beyond
your
beauty. It was that sincerity, and that alone, which
captivated
me.
Lady Contest.
Then I am
surprised you did not marry your chaplain's widow, good old
Mrs.
Brown!
Sir Adam.
Why
so?
Lady Contest.
Because I have heard
you say "there was not so sincere a woman on the face of
the
earth."
Sir Adam. [Aside.]
And
egad I almost wish I had married her. By what I have now said,
Lady
Contest, I meant to let you know, that in comparison with
virtues, I
have
no esteem for a youthful or a beautiful
face.
Lady Contest.
Oh dear! how you
and I differ! for I here declare, I do love a
beautiful youthful
face, better than I love any thing in the
whole
world.
Sir Adam. [In a half-smothered rage.]
Leave the room--- leave the room instantly. [After a violent struggle.] No: Come back---come back,
my
dear--- [Tenderly]---[Aside.] I'll
be in a good humour
presently ---but not just yet.---Yes---I will get the better of
it.---I
won't use her ill---I have sworn at the altar, not to
use her
ill, and I will keep my vow. [He
sits
down affecting perfect composure,
and after a pause]
---Pray, Lady Contest, pray,
have not you heard from
your mother yet?
Lady
Contest.
Not a line, nor a word.
Sir
Adam.
It is wonderful that she should not send us a
proper address! There is
no doubt but that every letter we have sent
to her since she has been
abroad, has miscarried. However, it will be
great joy and pride to her,
when she
hears of your
marriage.
Lady Contest.
Yes---for she
always said I was not born to make my fortune.
Sir
Adam.
Which prediction I have annulled. And after
all---Come hither---come
hither---[Takes her kindly by the hand] ---And after all, I do not repent
that I have---for
although I cannot say that you possess all those
qualifications which
my first
wife did, yet you behave very well considering your
age.
Lady Contest.
And I am sure so do
you, considering yours.
Sir Adam.
All
my resolution is gone, and I can keep my temper no longer. [Aside]
Go into your own chamber immediately. [He
takes her by the hand and puts her
off.]
I'll---I'll---I'll---[Threatening as
if going to follow her,
then stops short.] No,
I'll go another way. [As he is going
off at
the opposite side, enter a
Servant].
Servant.
My young
master and another gentleman.
Enter Mr. Contest and
Lord Rakeland.
Mr. Contest. [To Sir Adam.]
I kneel, Sir, for your pardon and your
blessing.
Sir Adam.
You have behaved
very ill; but as you appear sensible of it, I forgive,
and am glad to
see you. But I expect that your future conduct shall
give
proof of
your repentance. My Lord Rakeland, I beg pardon for
introducing
this
subject before you; but you are not wholly unacquainted with it,
I
suppose?
Lord Rakeland.
Mr. Contest
has partly informed me. [Aside
to Mr.
Contest] ---Ask for
your
mother.
Mr. Contest.
I sincerely
congratulate you on your nuptials, Sir, and I hope Lady
Contest is
well.
Sir Adam.
[Going to the side of the scene.] Desire Lady Contest to walk
this
way.
Lord Rakeland.
I, sincerely
congratulate you, too, Sir Adam.
Sir
Adam.
Thank you, my Lord, thank you. [Enter
Lady Contest. Sir Adam takes her
by the hand and presents Mr. Contest
to her.] My dear, this is
my son---and
this, Tom, is your mother-in-law.
Lady
Contest.
Dear Sir Adam, [half laughing] I was never so surprised in my
life! Always when
you spoke of your son you called him Tom, and Tommy,
and I expected
to see a little boy.
Sir Adam.
And
have you any objection to his being a man?
Lady
Contest.
Oh no, I think I like him the better. [To
Mr. Contest] ---Sir, I am
very glad to see
you.
Mr. Contest.
I give your Ladyship
joy. [Salutes her
hand.]
Lady
Contest.
I shall be very fond of him, Sir Adam---I shall
like him as well as if
he was my own.
Sir Adam.
[Aside.]
Now am I in a rage, lest seeing my son a man,
she should be more
powerfully reminded that I am old; and I long to
turn him out of doors.
But I won't---no---I'll be the kinder to him
for this very suspicion.
Come, Tom, let me shake hands with you---we
have not shaken hands a
great while; and let this be a sign of the
full renewal of my paternal
affection.
Lord
Rakeland.
Sir Adam, you have not introduced me to Lady
Contest.
Lady Contest.
Is this another
son?
Sir Adam.
What, could you be fond
of him too?
Lady Contest.
Yes, I
could.
Sir Adam.
And like him as well
as if he were your own?
Lady
Contest.
Yes, I could.
Sir
Adam.
But he is not my son.
Lady
Contest.
I can't help thinking he is. [Looking
stedfastly at him.]
Sir
Adam.
I tell you he is not.
Lady
Contest.
Nay, nay, you are joking---I am sure he
is.
Sir Adam. [Raising his voice.]
I
tell you, no.
Lady Contest.
Why he is
very like you. [She goes up
to Lord
Rakeland, and looks in
his face.] No, he is not
so like when you are close. I beg
ten thousand
pardons, Sir, you are not at all like Sir
Adam.
Sir Adam. [Aside.]
Zounds, now
I am jealous---and I am afraid my propensity will get the
better
of
me. But no, it shan't---No, it shall
not.---My Lord, I beg your pardon,
but I want
half an hour's private conversation with my son; will
you
excuse
us?
Lord
Rakeland.
Certainly, Sir Adam---I beg you will make no
stranger of me.
Sir Adam. [Taking Mr.
Contest by the hand.]
Come, Tom. [Aside]---There, now, I have left them
alone; and I
think
this is triumphing over my jealousy pretty well. Well done, Sir
Adam,
well
done, well done. [Exit with
Mr.
Contest, Sir Adam smiling with self-applause
at the victory he
has gained.]
Lord Rakeland.
My dear
Lady Contest, though I acknowledge I have not the happiness to
be
your son, yet, permit me to beg a blessing on my knees---
'Tis
this---Tell me when and where I shall have the happiness of
seeing you
again?
Lady Contest.
Dear
Sir, without any compliment, the happiness will be done
to
me.
Lord Rakeland.
Enchanting
woman! appoint the time.
Lady
Contest.
I'll ask Sir Adam.
Lord
Rakeland.
No---without his being
present.
Lady Contest.
I don't know if
I sha'n't like that full as well.
Lord
Rakeland.
Appoint a time, then; just to play a game at
cribbage.
Lady Contest.
Or what do you
think of "Beggar my Neighbour?"---would not that do
as
well?
Lord Rakeland.
Perfectly as
well. The very thing.
Lady
Contest.
But you must take care how you play; for it is
a game you may lose a
great deal of money by.
Lord
Rakeland.
But Sir Adam must not know of
it.
Enter Sir Adam, and speaks
aside.
Sir Adam.
Resolutions come and
go---I wish I could have kept mine, and staid away
a little longer.
[Affecting good humour.] What, my Lord, here
still?
holding conversation with this giddy
woman?
Lord Rakeland.
[Affecting coldness.] I assure you, Sir Adam, I am
very well
pleased
with Lady Contest's conversation.
Lady
Contest.
And I am sure, my Lord, I am very much
pleased with
yours.
Lord Rakeland.
We have been
talking about a game at cards.
Lady
Contest.
But you said Sir Adam was not to be of the
party.
Lord Rakeland.
Yes, Sir
Adam---but not Mr. Contest.
Lady
Contest.
No, indeed you said Sir
Adam.
Lord Rakeland.
Oh
no.
Lady Contest.
[Eagerly.]
Yes---because, don't you
remember I said---and you
made
answer---
Lord Rakeland.
I don't
remember any thing---
Lady
Contest.
What! don't you remember kneeling for my
blessing?
Sir Adam.
How!
What!
Lord Rakeland.
Sir Adam, it
would be a breach of good manners were I to contradict
Lady Contest a
second time; therefore I acknowledge that she is
right--- and
that I
have been in the wrong.
[Exit, bowing with
great respect.]
Lady Contest.
[To Sir Adam apart, and pulling his sleeve.] Won't you ask him
to
dinner?
Sir Adam.
Ask him to
dinner! What a difference between you and my first
wife!---Would
she have wished
me to ask
him to dinner? would she
have suffered a man to
kneel---
Lady Contest.
I did not
suffer him to kneel a moment.
Sir
Adam.
---But my first wife was a model of perfection,
and it is unjust to
reproach you with the comparison. Yet I cannot
help saying---would she
had lived!
Lady
Contest.
And I am sure I wish so, with all my
heart.
Sir Adam.
[Fetching a heavy sigh.] But she was suddenly snatched
from
me.
Lady Contest.
How was it, Sir
Adam? Were you not at sea together? And so a storm
arose---and
so you
took to the long-boat---and she would stay in the ship---and
so
she
called to you, and you would not go---and you called to her,
and she
would
not come. And so your boat sailed, and her ship
sunk.
Sir Adam.
Don't, don't---I can't
bear to hear it repeated. I loved her too
sincerely. But the only
proof I can now give of my affection, is to be
kind to her
son; and
as by what he acknowledged to me, his heart I perceived was
bent
upon
marriage, I have given him leave to introduce to me the lady
on
whom
he has fixed his choice---and if I like
her---
Lady Contest.
Has he fixed his
choice? Who is the young lady? What is her
name?
Sir Adam.
I did not ask her
name.
Lady Contest.
But I hope you
will give your consent, whoever she is.
Sir
Adam.
And if I do, in a little time they may both wish I
had not. Young
people are so capricious they don't know their own
minds half an hour.
For instance, I dare say you think very highly of
that young Lord who
was here just now; but if you were to see him two
or three times a
week, you would cease to
admire
him.
Lady Contest.
I should like to
try. Do invite him here two or three times a week, on
purpose to
try.
Enter Servant.
Servant.
Mr.
and Mrs. Ploughman are come, Sir, and dinner is almost
ready.
[Exit.]
Lady
Contest.
[Looking at her hand, gives a violent
scream.] Oh! Oh!---Oh
dear!
Sir Adam---Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
Sir
Adam.
What's the matter? What in the name of heaven is
the matter?
Lady Contest.
I wish I may
die if I have not lost my wedding ring.---Oh! 'tis a sure
sign of
some ill luck.
Sir Adam.
Here, John!
[Enter Servant.] Go and look for your
mistress's
wedding
ring; she has dropt it somewhere about the
house.
Lady Contest.
I am afraid it
was in the street, as I stepp'd out of my coach. Oh!
indeed, Sir
Adam, it did not stick close. I remember I pulled my glove
off
just
at that time; go and look there, John. [Exit
Servant.]
Oh! Sir Adam,
some ill luck will certainly happen to one or both of
us: you may
depend
upon it.
Sir
Adam.
Childish nonsense! What ill luck can happen to us
while we are
good?
Lady Contest.
But
suppose we should not be good?
Sir
Adam.
We always may if we please.
Lady
Contest.
I know we may. But then sometimes 'tis a great
deal of trouble.
Sir Adam.
Come, don't
frighten yourself about omens; you'll find your
ring
again.
Lady Contest.
Do you think
that young Lord mayn't have found it? Suppose we send to
ask
him?
Sir Adam.
Did you miss it while
he was here?
Lady Contest.
No, nor
should not have missed any thing, if he had staid
till
midnight.
Sir Adam.
[Taking her by the hand.] Come, come to dinner. [Going, stops.]
But I must say this has been a very careless thing
of you. My first
wife
would not have lost her
wedding ring.
Lady
Contest.
But indeed, Sir Adam, mine did not
fit.
[Exeunt.]
END OF THE FIRST
ACT.
Act I - Act
II - Main Page