ACT II.

SCENE I.

An Apartment at Mr. Millden's.

Enter Lady Autumn and Mrs. Hamford.

Mrs. Hamford.

My dear Lady Autumn, Mr. Contest is not of a proper age for a lover, much less for a husband of yours.

Lady Autumn.

Mrs. Hamford, I believe, old as you pretend to think me now, you thought me young but a few weeks ago at Venice; when, on your first landing there, you imposed upon me your romantic tale, and prevailed with me to bring you to England.

Mrs. Hamford.

Hold, Madam, do not conclude too hastily, that, because I have for a few days since my arrival in my native country, deferred my promise of revealing to you my real name and my connections here, that I am for this reason an impostor.

Lady Autumn.

No; upon recollection, you certainly have been living on a savage island for these ten or twelve years, which gives you all these Hottentot ideas in respect to the advanced age of women. In some savage countries women are old at seventeen; but in this enlightened nation we are all young at seventy.
 
Enter Mr. Millden.

Mr. Millden.

Lady Autumn, I make no apology for entering your apartment thus abruptly, because I come with good news---Your daughter is married.

Lady Autumn.

Married! What! while I have been abroad?

Mr. Millden.

No doubt---But I cannot give you any particulars of the marriage, nor tell you even the gentleman's name---for I only passed her guardian by accident in his carriage, and I had not an opportunity to enquire, nor he to inform me farther, than "that it was a most advantageous union for your daughter, for that her husband is a man of fortune and title."

Mrs. Hamford.

There, Lady Autumn! you find you have a daughter old enough to be a wife.

Lady Autumn.

More shame for her---Why was not my consent asked?

Mr. Millden.

You were out of England, and no letters reached you. However, your daughter's guardian will call upon you in the evening, and explain to you every particular.

Lady Autumn.

But now, my dear Mr. Millden, and you my dear Mrs. Hamford, don't let this marriage escape your lips, if Mr. Contest should call this evening---for if my daughter's husband should not, after all, be a man of some importance, I should wish to keep it a secret from Mr. Contest that I have a daughter married.

[Exit.]

Mr. Millden.

Mrs. Hamford, I observe a gloom upon your countenance; I hope no enquiries you have made concerning any part of your family since you arrived in England---[He takes her hand]---You tremble! What's the matter?

Mrs. Hamford.

I tremble till a visit which I am now going to make is over; and then, whatever is my destiny, I trust in that Power which has supported me through numerous trials, to give me resignation.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE II.

An Apartment at Sir Adam Contest's.

Enter Lady Contest, followed by her Maid.

Lady Contest.

[Pulling off her cloak.] Has any body called on me, Hannah, since I have been out?

Hannah.

Yes, Madam, an elderly gentlewoman; but she refused to leave her name---she said she had particular business, and wanted to speak to you in private.

Lady Contest.

Then pray let me see her when she comes again.
 
Hannah.

I told her, Madam, that you were only gone to the milliner's in the next street.

Lady Contest.

Has any body else called, Hannah?

Hannah.

No, ma'am.

Enter a Servant.

Servant.

Lord Rakeland, if your Ladyship is not engaged---

Lady Contest.

[Drawing Hannah on one side.] Oh! Hannah, Hannah! is this the elderly gentlewoman?--- Oh! for shame, Hannah!---However, poor Hannah, don't be uneasy. I won't be very angry with you. [To the Servant.] You may desire his Lordship to walk up.

[Exit Servant.]

Hannah.

Upon my word, my lady---

Lady Contest.

Oh, hold your tongue, Hannah---you know this is the elderly gentlewoman you meant---but no matter---I am almost every bit as well pleased.

Enter Lord Rakeland. Exit Hannah.

Lord Rakeland.

My adorable Lady Contest---

Lady Contest.

I hope you are very well---but I need not ask, for you look charmingly.
 
Lord Rakeland.

And you look like a divinity! I met Sir Adam this moment in his carriage going out, and that emboldened me---

Lady Contest.

Yes, Sir, he is gone out for a little while with my guardian; but he'll soon be back. I suppose, Sir, you called to play an hand of cards.

Lord Rakeland.

No---my errand was to tell you---I love you; I adore you; and to plead for your love in return.

Lady Contest.

But that is not in my power to give.

Lord Rakeland.

You cannot possibly have given it to Sir Adam!

Lady Contest.

I sha'n't tell you what I have done with it.

Lord Rakeland.

You could love me; I know you could.

Lady Contest.

If you were my husband I would try: and then, perhaps, take all the pains I would, I could not.

Lord Rakeland.

Oh! that I were your husband!

[Kneeling.]

Lady Contest.

You would not kneel so if you were. Not even on the wedding day.
 
Lord Rakeland.

No, but I would clasp you thus.

[Throwing his arms about her.]

Lady Contest.

Oh dear! Oh dear! I am afraid Sir Adam's first wife would not have suffered this!

Lord Rakeland.

Why talk of Sir Adam? Oh! that you were mine, instead of his!

Lady Contest.

And would you really marry me, if I were single?

Lord Rakeland.

Would I?---yes---this instant, were you unmarried, this instant, with rapture, I would become your happy bridegroom.

Lady Contest.

I wonder what Sir Adam would say were he to hear you talk thus! He suspected you were in love with me at the very first---I can't say I did--- I suspected nothing---but I have found a great deal.

Lord Rakeland.

Nothing to my disadvantage, I hope?

Lady Contest.

No---nor any thing that shall be of disadvantage to Sir Adam.

Lord Rakeland.

Why are you perpetually talking of your husband?
 
Lady Contest.

Because, when I am in your company, I am always thinking of him.

Lord Rakeland.

Do I make you think of your husband?

Lady Contest.

Yes---and you make me tremble for him.

Lord Rakeland.

Never be unhappy about Sir Adam.

Lady Contest.

I won't---and he shall never have cause to be unhappy about me---for I'll go lock myself up till he comes home.

[Going.]

Lord Rakeland.

[Holding her.] What are you alarmed at? Is there any thing to terrify you either in my countenance or address?---In your presence, I feel myself an object of pity, not of terror.

Lady Contest.

Ay, but this may be all make-believe, like the poor little boy in the song.

SONG.

I.

In the dead of the night, when, with labour opprest,
All mortals enjoy the calm blessing of ease,
Cupid knock'd at my window, disturbing my rest,
Who's there? I demanded---Begone, if you please.

II.

He answer'd so meekly, so modest, and mild,
Dear ma'am, it is I, an unfortunate child;
'Tis a cold rainy night, I am wet to the skin;
I have lost my way, ma'am, so pray let me in.

III.

No sooner from wet and from cold he got ease,
Then taking his bow he cry'd, Ma'am, if you please,
If you please, ma'am, I would by experiment know
If the rain has damaged the string of my bow.

IV.

Then away skipp'd the urchin, as brisk as a bee,
And, laughing, I wish you much joy, ma'am, said he;
My bow is undamag'd, for true went the dart,
But you will have trouble enough with your heart.
[Going.]

Enter Servant.

Servant.

A lady, a stranger, who Mrs. Hannah says your Ladyship gave orders should be admitted---

Lady Contest.

Very true---Desire her to walk in---shew her up.

[Exit Servant.

Lord Rakeland.

Who is it?

Lady Contest.

I don't know---I can't tell---I thought you had been her: but I was mistaken.

Lord Rakeland.

Will she stay long?

Lady Contest.

I don't know any thing about her.

Lord Rakeland.

Dear Lady Contest, do not let me meet her on the stairs; conceal me somewhere till she is gone.

Here, I'll go into this dressing-room. [He goes to a door, which leads to the next chamber.]

Lady Contest.

Then you will hear our discourse.

Lord Rakeland.

No matter; I will keep it a secret.

Lady Contest.

No, no; you must go away---out of the house.

Lord Rakeland.

I can't---I won't---don't expose yourself before the lady.

Enter Mrs. Hamford.

[Lord Rakeland goes into the next room; but stands at the door, and listens to the conversation of the ensuing scene.]

Mrs. Hamford.

[Curtseying to Lady Contest]---I beg pardon, Madam.

Lady Contest.

[Curtseying]---No apologies, Madam.

Mrs. Hamford.

I am afraid I am not right!

[Looking round.]

Lady Contest.

Yes, Madam---Pray are not you the lady who called this afternoon, and said you had particular business?

Mrs. Hamford.

I am. [Looking earnestly at her]---And are you Lady Contest?

Lady Contest.

Yes, Ma'am.

Mrs. Hamford.

Sir Adam's wife?

[In surprise.]

Lady Contest.

Yes, Ma'am, Sir Adam's wife---Won't you please to sit down?

[They sit.]

Mrs. Hamford.

There is then, Lady Contest, a very material circumstance in my life, that I wish to reveal to you; and to receive from you advice how to act, rather than by confiding in the judgment of any of my own family, be flattered, by their partiality, into a blameable system of conduct. Such is the nature of my present errand to you: but, to my great surprise, I find you so very, very young---

Lady Contest.

Yes, Ma'am, thank heaven.

Mrs. Hamford.

And you are very happy, I presume?

Lady Contest.

[Hesitating]---Y-e-s, Ma'am---yes, very happy, all things considered.

Mrs. Hamford.

I am sorry then to be the messenger of news that will, most probably, destroy that happiness for ever.

Lady Contest.

Dear me! what news? You frighten me out of my wits!

[Rising.]

Mrs. Hamford.

You are now, Lady Contest, newly married; in the height of youth, health, prosperity; and I am the fatal object who, in one moment, may crush all those joys!

Lady Contest.

Oh! then pray don't---you'll break my heart if you do. What have I done, or what has happened to take away from me all my joys?--- Where's my pocket handkerchief?

[Feeling in her pocket.]

Mrs. Hamford.

Here, take mine, and compose yourself.

Lady Contest.

[Taking it]---Thank you, Ma'am.

Mrs. Hamford.

And now, my dear, I will inform you---and at the same time flatter myself that you will deal frankly with me, and not restrain any of those sensations which my tale may cause.

Lady Contest.

Dear Madam, I never conceal any of my sensations ---I can't if I would.

Mrs. Hamford.

Then what will they be when I tell you---I am Sir Adam Contest's wife---his wife whom he thinks drowned; but who was preserved and restored to life, though not till now restored to my own country.

Lady Contest.

Dear Madam, I don't know any body on earth I should be happier to see! [Runs to her, embraces, and hugs her repeatedly.]

Mrs. Hamford.

But consider, my dear, you are no longer wife to Sir Adam!

Lady Contest.

And is that all?---here, take your handkerchief again. [Returns it her.] And come you out of your hiding place. [She goes to the chamber where Lord Rakeland is---He enters confused, and bowing to Mrs. Hamford] ---Come, come, for you need no longer conceal yourself now, or be miserable; for I have no longer a husband to prevent my being your wife---or to prevent me from loving you---for oh! oh! I do---[Checks herself] ---though I durst not say so before.

Mrs. Hamford.

May I enquire who this gentleman is?

Lady Contest.

A poor man that has been dying for love of me, even though he thought it a sin.

Lord Rakeland.

I beg pardon, and promise never to be guilty for the future.---I wish you a good evening.

[Going.]

Lady Contest.

You are not going away?

Lord Rakeland.

I have an engagement it is impossible to postpone. ---Good evening.

Lady Contest.

But you will soon come back, I hope?---for I suppose you hold your mind to be my husband?

Lord Rakeland.

Alas! that is a happiness above my hopes.

Lady Contest.

Above your hopes!

Lord Rakeland.

It is.

Lady Contest.

Then it shall be beneath mine.

[He bows, and exit.]

Mrs. Hamford.

And is it possible that you can think of parting with Sir Adam without the least reluctance?

Lady Contest.

Pray, Madam, when did you see Sir Adam last?

Mrs. Hamford.

Above fifteen years ago.

Lady Contest.

He is greatly altered since that time.

Mrs. Hamford.

Still will my affection be the same.

Lady Contest.

And so it ought; for he loves you still---he is for ever talking of you; and declares he never knew what happiness was since he lost you. Oh! he will be so pleased to change me for you!

Mrs. Hamford.

I hope you do not flatter me!

Lady Contest.

I am sure I don't---I expect him at home every minute, and then you'll see!

Mrs. Hamford.

Excuse me---At present I could not support an interview. I will take my leave till I hear from you; and will confide in your artless and ingenuous friendship to inform Sir Adam of my escape.

Lady Contest.

You may depend upon me, Lady Contest.

Mrs. Hamford.

Adieu!

[Going.]

Lady Contest.

Dear Madam, I would insist on waiting upon you down stairs; but I won't stand upon any ceremony with you in your own house.

[Exit Mrs. Hamford.]

[As Lady Contest is going off at the opposite side, she stops on hearing Sir Adam's voice without.]

Sir Adam.

Nobody so plagued as I am with servants!

Enter Sir Adam.

Lady Contest.

Bless me, Sir Adam, I did not know you were come home!
 
Sir Adam.

I have been at home this quarter of an hour. The coachman has made himself tipsy on the joyful occasion of our marriage, and was very near dashing out my brains in turning a corner.

Lady Contest.

And is that worth being in such an ill temper about?---Ah! you would not be so cross, if you knew something.

Sir Adam.

Knew what?---I have a piece of news to tell you.

Lady Contest.

And I have a piece of news to tell you.

Sir Adam.

Your mother is arrived in town: your guardian heard so this morning, but he did not mention it to me till this moment, because he thinks it is proper for him to wait upon, and acquaint her with our marriage in form, before I throw myself at her feet, to ask her blessing.

Lady Contest.

Very well---with all my heart. And now, Sir Adam---what do you think?

Sir Adam.

What do I think!

Lady Contest.

What will you give me to tell you something that will make you go almost out of your wits with joy?

Sir Adam.

What do you mean?---Have I got another estate left me?
 
Lady Contest.

No: something better.

Sir Adam.

Better than that!

Lady Contest.

A great deal better---you will think.

Sir Adam.

[Eagerly]---Has the county meeting agreed to elect me their representative?

Lady Contest.

No.

Sir Adam.

What any thing better than that?

Lady Contest.

A great deal better than that---and something the most surprising!---Guess again.

Sir Adam.

Pshaw! I'll guess no more---I hate such teazing ---it is unmannerly---would my first wife have served me so?

Lady Contest.

Now you have hit upon it.

Sir Adam.

Upon what?

Lady Contest.

Your first wife.

Sir Adam.

Ay, I shall never see her like again!

Lady Contest.

No, but you may see her---for she is alive, and you may have her home as soon as you please.
 
Sir Adam.

What the deuce does the woman mean?

[Trembling.]

Lady Contest.

Your first wife---escaped in the long boat---as surprising a story as Robinson Crusoe!---I have seen her, and she longs to see you.

Sir Adam.

Why, what do you mean?---[Still trembling] Alive?

Lady Contest.

As much alive as I am.

Sir Adam.

And what does she intend to do?---[Trembling] Poor woman! poor creature! where does she intend to go?

Lady Contest.

Go! Come home, to be sure.

Sir Adam.

Home!---what does she call her home?

Lady Contest.

You are her home.

Sir Adam.

I her home!---Come to me!---What can I do with her?---and what is to become of you?

Lady Contest.

Oh! never mind me.

Sir Adam.

Yes, but I can't think to part with you--- [Ready to cry.] I can't think to turn a poor young creature like you upon the wide world.---Her age will secure her; she won't be in half the danger.

Lady Contest.

Poor soul! if you knew what she has suffered---

Sir Adam.

And have not I suffered too? I am sure I have lamented her loss every hour of my life; you have heard me.

Lady Contest.

And yet you don't seem half so much pleased at her return as I am.

Sir Adam.

I cannot help being concerned to think, what a melancholy twelve or fourteen years the poor woman has experienced! most likely upon some desert island, instead of being in heaven!

Lady Contest.

But if you are concerned upon her account, you ought to be pleased upon your own, my dear--- [Checks herself] I beg pardon; I mean Sir Adam.

Sir Adam.

No, no, call me "my dear"---do not shew reserve to me already; for if you do, you will break my heart.

Lady Contest.

I would not break your heart for the world--- and indeed, Sir Adam---you will always be dear to me---quite as dear when we are parted, nay, I think, dearer than if we were living together.

Sir Adam.

Don't talk of parting---Can you resolve to part from me?

Lady Contest.

Yes, because I know you will be so much happier with your first wife.

Sir Adam.

But if our parting should give you any uneasiness ---

Lady Contest.

It won't a bit.

Sir Adam.

No!

Lady Contest.

No, [soothing]---not when I know you are with that good, prudent woman, your first wife.

Sir Adam.

[Aside.]---Now here is a time to exert my power over myself: what signifies having exerted it in trivial matters, if from a trial such as this I shrink?---[To her---making many efforts to get rid of his feelings] ---Well, Madam, I am prepared to see my first wife---and to part with my second.

Lady Contest.

Then sit down and write to her, that you long to see her.

Sir Adam.

No! I can sacrifice all my sensations, but I cannot sacrifice truth.

Lady Contest.

Will you give me leave to write to her, a kind letter for you, and invite her to come hither directly?

Sir Adam.

[After a struggle]---You may do as you like.

Lady Contest.

Ay, I shan't be with you long, and so you may as well let me have my own way while I stay.---[She writes---he walks about, starts, and shews various signs of uneasiness during the time.]

Lady Contest.

Here they are; only a few words, but very kind; telling her to "fly to your impatient wishes." Here, John---[Enter Servant]---Take this letter to Mr. Millden's immediately. [Exit Servant] ---[She goes to Sir Adam]---Come, look pleased; consider how charming it is for old friends to meet.

Sir Adam.

Yes, if they are not too old. However, fear nothing in regard to my conduct, for I will, I will act properly---so properly, that I will not trust my own judgment; and the first person I consult shall be your mother, and I'll go to her this instant. [Going]---Sure never such a strange, intricate affair ever happened before!---but strange as it is, I will act as I ought to do---My inclination may rebel, but my reason shall conquer ---I will act as I ought to do.

Enter Servant.

Servant.

Lady Autumn and Mr. Contest.

Sir Adam.

And here your mother comes most opportunely.

Enter Mr. Contest and Lady Autumn.

Mr. Contest.

Sir Adam, according to your permission, I have brought the lady on whom I have placed my affections, to receive from---

Lady Contest.

Oh my dear mother, how do you do? [running to Lady Autumn.]

Mr. Contest.

Mother!---Your mother!

Lady Contest.

Yes---though she looks very well, does not she?

Mr. Contest.

This is the lady on whom I have fixed my choice.

Lady Contest.

What, on my mamma! Nay, Mr. Contest, now I am sure you are joking---ha, ha, ha, ha,---ha, ha, ha, ha,---fixed your choice on my mother!

Sir Adam.

And my mother! your father's mother!---Why you are as bad as the man in the farce---fall in love with your grandmother.

Lady Contest.

Dear mamma, don't make yourself uneasy, if you have a mind to marry my son; for there is a lady now at Mr. Millden's, and who is coming here, that will claim him for her son, and make me no longer wife to Sir Adam.

Lady Autumn.

This can be no other than Mrs. Hamford, whom I brought to England.

Enter Mr. Millden.

Mr. Millden.

Mr. Contest, will you step for a moment to the person in the next room. [Exit Mr. Contest.] Sir Adam Contest, I come to inform you, that there is a lady in the next room who has been near fainting at the sound of your voice.

Sir Adam.

And I believe I shall faint at the sound of her's.

Mr. Millden.

Her son is supporting her to you.

Enter Mrs. Hamford leaning on Mr. Contest.

Lady Contest.

Dear Sir Adam, fly and embrace your first wife. [She goes to her] ---Dear Lady Contest, notwithstanding his seeming insensibility he loves you to distraction: a thousand times has he declared to me, he did not think there was such a woman in the world.

Sir Adam.

And I did flatter myself, there was not.

Mrs. Hamford.

[Seeing Sir Adam advance towards her]---Oh! Sir Adam!

Sir Adam.

Oh my dear! If you knew what I have suffered, and what I still suffer on your account, you would pity me.

Lady Autumn.

Sir Adam, I give you joy of a wife that suits your own age.

Sir Adam.

And such a one shall my son marry, when he has my consent.

Mrs. Hamford.

Come, come, Sir Adam and Lady Autumn, these mutual reproaches, for almost the self-same fault, ought to convince you, that in your plans of wedlock you have both been wrong.

Sir Adam.

However, it shall be my endeavour to be henceforward right: for after settling upon my young bride a handsome dower, I will peaceably yield her up;---and though it is a hard struggle, yet, like all my other struggles, it will, I have no doubt, give me happiness in the end.

Lady Contest.

[Crying till she sobs.] Good b'ye, Sir Adam--- good b'ye---I did love you a little upon my word; and if I was not sure you were going to be so much happier with your first wife, I should never know a moment's peace.

Sir Adam.

I thank you. And at parting, all I have to request of you is---that you will not marry again till I die.

Lady Contest.

Indeed, Sir Adam, I will not---but then you won't make it long?

Sir Adam.

I believe I shan't.

Lady Contest.

And my next husband shall be of my own age; but he shall possess, Sir Adam, your principles of honour. And then, if my wedding ring should unhappily sit loose, I will guard it with unwearied discretion: and I will hold it sacred--- even though it should pinch my finger.
 

THE END.