Plumptre, Anne. The Natural Son. Ed. Thomas C. Crochunis. British Women Playwrights around 1800. 15 July 2000.
Scene 1
[A Room in the Cottage. Wilhelmina, Frederick, the Cottager and his Wife. Wilhelmina sits on a wooden Stool, with her Head supported on her Son's Breast. Frederick (speaking to the Cottager and his Wife, as they are busied about the Cottage.)]
Frederick.
Dear good people, have you nothing then? Nothing strengthening? nothing reviving?Wife.
Run, husband, to our neighbour at the public house, and fetch a bottle of wine.Fred.
Ah, that will not do!his wine is as bad as his heart. She has already tried that, and I fear it has proved poison to her.Cottager.
Go and see, wife, whether the black hen has not laid an egg. A new laid egg boiled softWife.
Or a few ripe currantsCottager.
Or the best thing that I havea piece of bacon.Wife.
Or there's about half a pint of brandy standing in the dairy.Fred. (much affected.)
God bless you and reward you for your kind-heartedness!Do you hear mother (Wilhelmina nods her head)Do you like any of these things? (Wilhelmina makes a motion with her hand declining them) She does not fancy themis there no physician in the neighbourhood?Cottager.
There's a horse doctor lives in the villagebut I never in my life saw any other.Fred.
Oh God what shall I do!she will die in my armsmerciful God, take pity on me!Kind people pray for uspray I entreat you! I cannot pray myself.Wilhel. (with a broken voice.)
Be comforted dear FrederickI am wellI am only faint, very fainta glass of good wineFred.
Yes mother!immediately motherdirectly! But, oh God where shall I procure it!no moneynone, not a doit.Wife.
Look you here, husbanddid you carry the money for the rent yesterday to the steward?Cottager.
Yes, indeed, the more's the pity. What can be done!It is true, as I am an honest man, that I have not a single doit in the house.Fred.
I willI will begand if they will not give meI will rob!Good people take care of my poor motherdo what you are able!give her what help you can!I will soon return. (Rushes out of the house.)Scene 2
[Wilhelmina, the Cottager, and his Wife.]
Cottager.
Should he but step to our pastor, he'll give something for certain.Wilhel.
Does the worthy pastor then still live?Wife.
Alas no!The good old gentlemen!it has pleased God to take himhe died two years ago, worn out and weary of life.Cottager.
He went out like a lamp.Wife. (wiping her eyes)
We have reason enough to weep for him.Cottager. (with tears also)
He was our father.Wilhel. (extremely affected)
Our father!Wife.
We shall never have such another.Cottager.
Well, well! let every man have his desertswe must not disparage any body. Our present pastor is also a worthy good man.Wife.
Yes, indeed, husbandbut very young.Cottager.
'Tis true, one can't look up to him with quite so much respectour hearts don't take to him so readilybut our old pastor himself, you know, was once young.Wife. (to Wilhelmina)
This gentleman was tutor in the family, and my lord the Baron was so well satisfied with him, that he made him our Pastor.Cottager.
And well he might be satisfied; for to be sure our young lady, God bless her, is a charming, affable creature.Wife.
Not at all proud. When she comes to church, she nods her head round to all the countrywomen, first to one and then to another.Cottager.
And when she comes into the pew, she holds her fan before her face, and prays with such devotion!Wife.
And during the sermon, she never once turns away her eyes from the Pastor.Wilhel. (with emotion)
And who is this young lady?Cottager.
The daughter of my lord the Baron.Wilhel.
Is she here, then?Wife.
Here!yes, to be sure!did not you know that?Next Friday it will be five weeks since his lordship made his entry into the Castle, bag and baggage.Wilhel.
Baron Wildenhain?Wife.
Yes, my lord himself.Wilhel.
And his lady?Cottager.
Oh, no; her ladyship is dead. They lived some hundred miles off, in Franconia; and while her ladyship was alive, my lord never came amongst us. That has frequently been a great loss to us. (Speaking in a sort of whisper.) She was a proud kind of lady, with a heap of fancies. Well, well, we should not speak ill of the dead. The Baron is still a very good kind of gentleman;scarcely had my lady closed her eyes, when he resolved immediately to leave the place, and returned to Wildenhain. And well he might, for this is his native place;here he grew up to manhood; many a time has he joined in our rural sports, and has often danced with my wife on a Sunday evening under the lime-trees.Don't you remember it, Bet?Wife.
O yes, to be sure, I may well remember it. The young gentleman used to wear a red coat, and fine buckles set with sparkling stones.Cottager.
Afterwards, indeed, when he became an officer, he turned out rather wild; but young folks must sow their wild oats; the soil was naturally good, but the richest earth, you know, will sometimes bear weeds.Wife.
But do you remember, husband, what a piece of work he made with Boettcher's Minny?That was not good.Cottager.
Hush, wife! we must not bring up such old stories. Besides, we don't know that he was the father of her child; she never said so.Wife.
Well, for all that, I'd lay my Sunday gown and laced cap that he was the man, and nobody else.No, no, husband, you must not defend thatthat was wicked. Who knows whether the poor creature has not died of hunger and griefand her poor father, old Boettcher, he might have lived longer, if he had not been so heart-broken about it.(Wilhelmina faints.)
Cottager. (first perceiving her)
Bet! Bet!Help! Zounds, help!Wife.
Ah! my God!poor woman!Cottager.
Quick, quick, carry her into the chamber; lay her on the bedand then we'll go and fetch the pastor, for she scarcely can live till morning.(They carry her in.)
Scene 3
[A Room in the Baron's Castle. The Tea-table is set out, a lighted Candle and a Roll of wax Taper on the Table. The Baron enters in his night gown.]
Baron.
Sleeps the Count still?Servant.
No, my lord; his hair is already dressed.Baron.
I suspected so; the whole house is scented with poudre à la Marechalle. Call my daughter hither. (The servant goes out, the Baron fills his pipe and lights it.) It seems to me that the old privy counsellor has saddled me with a complete coxcomb; whatever he says and does, is as silly and conceited as his countenance.No, I will not be precipitatemy Amelia is too dear to me for that;I must first know the young gentleman a little better, and not for the sake of an ancient friendship make my daughter unhappy. The poor girl innocently says yes, and she will do as her father pleases, and he understands these things better than herself. Pity, pity, indeed, that the girl was not a boy!Pity that the name of Wildenhain must be extinct, even as the flame which I now blow out.(He blows out the candle with which he had lighted his pipe.) All my fine estate, my glorious prospects, my honest, well-conditioned tenantsall, all must pass into foreign hands!'tis to be regretted much to be regretted!Scene 4
[Enter Amelia in a loose morning dress.]
Amelia. (kissing the Baron's hand)
Good morrow, dear father.Baron.
Good morrow, my daughter. You have slept well, I hope?Amelia.
Oh! yes.Baron.
You have, indeed, slept well? Not been at all disturbed?Amelia.
Noonly the gnats made rather a humming in my ears.Baron.
The gnats! Well, that does not much signify. We must only smoke a bough of juniper in the room. 'Tis easier to drive away gnats than maggots.Amelia.
If you want to drive them away, 'tis only to boil some peas with a little quicksilver, and that will kill them.Baron. (laughing)
Well, well, it will be happy for you, Amelia, if you never know any other maggots than what a plate of peas will kill.Amelia.
Oh, you mean maggots in the head! No, no, I have none of them.Baron.
So much the better. What, indeed, should a young, lively girl of sixteen like you, have to do with maggots in her head. You have a father who loves you tenderly, and a suitor who begs permission to love you. How do you like the Count von der Mulde?Amelia.
Very well.Baron.
Do you not blush when I name him?Amelia. (feeling her cheeks)
No.Baron.
No!Humph!And you have not dreamt of him?Amelia.
No.Baron.
You did not dream at all, perhaps?Amelia. (considering)
Oh! yes, I dreamt of our Pastor.Baron.
Aha! as he stood before you, and asked you for the ring?Amelia.
Oh, no! not so.I dreamt that we were still in Franconia, and he was still my tutor, and was about to depart, and that I wept bitterly.Baron.
And that your father laughed, and your mother scolded?Is it not true?Yes, yes, it was a foolish scene.It is still perfectly in my remembrance.Amelia.
And when I waked, my eyes were really wet.Baron.
Hear me, Amelia! When you dream again of the pastor, let it be that he stood at the altar, and you and the Count stood before him, and exchanged rings. What think you of that?Amelia.
I will most certainly, dear father, if you command it.Baron.
The devil!No, I do not command it!But I wish to know whether you love him? You know you saw him at the ball, when we spent a few days in town last winter.Amelia.
Should I then love every body whom I see at a ball?Baron.
Amelia! Amelia! Do not be stupid!I mean, that at that time the Count von der Mulde simpered and ogled with you, danced an elegant minuet or two with you, poured eau de mille fleurs upon your pocket-handkerchief, and God knows what he was talking about all the time.Amelia.
God knows, indeed!I'm sure I remember nothing about it.Baron.
Nothing?Amelia.
If it would be a satisfaction to you, I will endeavour to recollect as much as I can.Baron.
No, no, there is no occasion. What one is forced to try to recollect, can only be brought forth from a corner of the memory, not from the recesses of the heart. You do not then love him?Amelia.
I believe not.Baron. (aside.)
I believe not too.Yet I wish to make you understand the connection between his visit and my questions. His father is a privy counsellora man of wealth and rankof wealth and rank! dost thou hear?Amelia.
Yes, dear fatherif you command it. But our pastor always told me that I should not regard such things; that wealth and rank are mere gifts of chance.Baron.
Well, well, he is right enough in that. But if it so happens that wealth and rank go hand in hand with merit, then they are an advantage. You understand me?Amelia.
Perfectly. (With simplicity, and without any apparent design.) And is that the case with the Count von der Mulde?Baron. (embarrassed.)
Humph!His father has rendered the State important services;he is my old friendhe was my suitor with your mother, and I have great obligations to him;and because he so earnestly wishes for a marriage between you and his sonand because he supposes that in time you will love the young man so ardentlyAmelia.
Does he suppose that?Baron.
Yes. But it appears to me that you are not of the same opinion?Amelia.
Not entirely. Still, if you command, dear fatherBaron.
The devil!I tell you that one must not command in such things;a marriage without love is absolute slavery;none but congenial minds should be unitedI would not pair a nightingale with a finch. If you like each other, be it soif not, here let the matter rest. (Most calmly.) Attend, my Amelia!the whole of the affair is thiscan you, or can you not, love this man? If you cannot, then we must send him back with a refusal.Amelia.
Dear father, it appears to me that I never shall love him. I have read so much in romances about love, how strange and wonderful are its effectsBaron.
Hey! what! Don't prattle to me of your romances! they are the devil, indeed!they tell you a parcel of nonsense, that never can stand the test of experience. But stop!I will put a few questions to youanswer them with sincerity, Ameliawith strict sincerity.Amelia.
I have never answered you otherwise.Baron.
Are you pleased when you hear people talk of the Count?Amelia.
Good or ill?Baron.
Good, good?Amelia.
Oh, yes. I am always pleased when I hear good of any man.Baron.
But are you not elated when you hear him mentioned? (She shakes her head.) Are you not embarrassed? (She shakes her head.) Do you not wish sometimes that he should be made the subject of conversation, yet have not courage to begin talking of him yourself? (She shakes her head.) Would you not defend him, if you should hear any one find fault with him?Amelia.
Oh, certainly, if I can. Our pastorBaron.
Pshaw! Pshaw! we won't talk about our pastor at present.How do you feel when you see the Count?Amelia.
Very well.Baron.
Don't you feel any palpitation as he approaches you?Amelia.
No. (Hastily recollecting herself.) Yes, I did once.Baron.
Aha!now it's coming out.Amelia.
It was at the ball, when he trod on my foot.Baron.
Don't be foolish, Amelia!Don't you cast down your eyes when he addresses you?Amelia.
I never cast my eyes down before any body.Baron.
Do you not play with your apron or handkerchief, when he is talking to you?Amelia.
No.Baron.
Does not your face glow when he makes you a fine speech, referring perhaps to love or marriage?Amelia.
Did he ever say any thing of that kind to me? It's more than I recollect.Baron.
Humph! humph!(After a pause.) Have you not sometimes yawned while he was talking to you?Amelia.
No, dear fatherthat is not polite.Baron.
But were you ever disposed to yawn?Amelia.
Oh yes, dear father.Baron.
So!then there is little hope.Do you think him handsome?Amelia.
I don't know.Baron.
Do you not know what beauty is?or do you not know whether you think him handsome?Amelia.
I never particularly examined him.Baron.
Bad again.How did you feel when he came yesterday evening?Amelia.
I was vexed;for at the very time the servant so unseasonably called me, I was walking with our pastor on the little romantic hill.Baron.
Unseasonably!Humph!Well, only one more question.Have you not undesignedly dressed your hair this morning with unusual care, and selected a becoming deshabille?Amelia. (surveying herself)
This is not dirty yet, dear father; I only wore it yesterday and the day before.Baron. (aside)
Here's little prospect of success! Well, my dear child, the Count, then, is indifferent to you?Amelia.
Why not, unless you command it?Baron. (warmly)
Listen to me, Amelia!If you repeat again your damned command, I may be tempted perhaps to command indeed. (More mildly.) To see you happy, my child, is my earnest wish, and commands cannot produce happiness. Marriage is a very inharmonious duet, if the tones are ill assorted; therefore the great Composer has planted in our hearts the pure harmony of love. I'll tell you what, Amelia, I will send the pastor to you.Amelia. (joyfully)
The pastor!Baron.
He shall instruct you in the duties of the marriage state; for that office a clergyman is better qualified than a father.Then examine yourself; and if you believe that the Count is the man towards whom your heart can fulfil these duties, in God's name marry him.Till then I say no more. (calls) Henry! (a servant enters) Go to the minister, and desire him, if he be disengaged, to come hither for a quarter of an hour. (The servant is going.)Amelia.
And tell him, I wish him a good morning.Baron. (looking at his watch)
My young gentleman takes a devilish time for dressing, methinks. Come, Amelia, pour out the tea.(Amelia sits down at the tea-table.)
Baron.
What sort of weather have we?Have you put your head out of the window this morning Amelia?Amelia.
Oh, I was in the garden by five o'clock; it is indeed a most charming morning.Baron.
One may then take an hour's shooting; I know not what else to do with my gentlemanhe fatigues me terribly. Ha! here he comes!Scene 5
[Enter Count von der Mulde.]
Count.
Ah, bon jour mon colonel!Dear young lady, I kiss your hand. (Amelia curtsies.)Baron.
Good morrow! good morrow! Why, count, it is almost noon. In the country one is used to rise earlier.Count.
Pardonnez, mon colonel!I have been up ever since six o'clock; but my homme de chambre has been guilty of a betise, which has quite driven me to despaira loss which pour le moment cannot be repaired.Baron.
Aye! aye! I am sorry indeed for that. (Amelia offers him tea.)Count. (taking it)
I am your most humble slave! Is it Hebe herself, or Venus in la place of Hebe? (Amelia looks at him sneeringly.)
Baron. (rather peevishly)
Neither Venus, nor Hebe, but Amelia Wi'denhain with your permission. But may I be informed of your loss?Count.
Oh, my God! help me to banish the triste remembrance, I am envelopé in a maze of perplexities. I am afraid I must even be obliged to write a letter upon the occasion.Baron.
What? Is the misfortune really so great?Count. (sipping his tea)
'Tis absolute nectar, most divine young lady! but could it be otherwise from your fair hands?Baron.
Indeed this nectar was sold to me for plain congou tea.Amelia.
But, my good count, you do not tell us what you have lost?Baron. (aside)
His understanding!Count.
You commandyour slave obeys. But in doing this you tear open wounds, which even the sight of you had scarcely healed. My homme de chambrethe vaut-rien!Oh the man is a mauvais sujet. As he was packing up my things the day before yesterday, I said to him, "Henri," said I, "Yonder on that window stands a little pot of pommade." You understand me, most charming lady, I said to him most emphatically, "forget it not upon any consideration, let it be packed up." I repeated it three times, nay, I believe, four times"You know, Henri," I said, "that I am undone without this pommade"for you will understand, madam, they cannot make pommade here in Germany, they know not how to give it l'odeurit is incomparable. I can assure you, madam, it comes tout droit from Paris, the author is parfumeur du roi. More than once, when I have been dejour at her highness the princess Adelaide, she has asked, where I could get my pommade, "for count," she said, "the whole chambre is parfumé when you are with me dejour. Now only imagine, most charming lady, et vous mon colonel, the fellow totally forgot the pommade, there it stands upon the window still, as I am a true cavalier.Amelia. (smiling)
Dreadful indeed!Baron.
Unless the mice should have made prize of it.Count.
Et voila encore, mon colonel, another raison which drives me to desperation. Would you believe it, this fellow, this Henri, has been thirty years in our service! For thirty years has he been provided in our family with every thing for which a man of his extraction can have occasion, and what does he now in return?forgets my pommadeleaves it standing on the windowas I am a vrai cavalier. O Ciel! and the German mice will perhaps gormandize upon the most delicate parfum that all France can produce. But it was impossible to restrain mon indignation; I instantly discharged him.Baron. (throwing himself back)
A servant who had lived with you thirty years!Count.
Oh be not uneasy! I have another in pettoan excellent servant indeed! he dresses hair like a deity.Amelia.
And poor Henri must be turned away for such a trifle!Count.
What say you, charming lady? a Bagatelle?Amelia.
Deprive a poor man of his bread!Count.
My God, how can I do less? Has he not deprived me of my pommade?Amelia.
May I not plead for him?Count.
Your sentiments transport me! but your goodness must not be abusé. The man has quantité of children, who in the course of time, when they are arrived at an age mur will be able to maintain their blockhead of a father.Amelia.
And has he a family too? Oh, I entreat you most earnestly, count, not to discharge him!Count.
Vous etes aimable, divine creature!trés aimable!You command, your slave obeys. Henri shall come and kiss the skirt of your garment.Baron. (aside, rubbing his hand impatiently)
No! that is not to be borne!away with the coxcomb! (to the count) What say you, count, to taking an hour's shooting before dinner?Count. (kissing the ends of his fingers)
Bravo! mon colonel! a charmant thought! I accept the party with pleasure. Madame, you will then have a sight of my elegant shooting-dress. You will find it in the very newest taste. I had it made up on purpose pour cette occasion. And my gun, monsieur le colonel, the stock is set with mother-of-pearl, you never saw any thing finished with superior gout; even my arms are carved upon it.Baron. (drily)
Can you shoot?Count.
I never was out a shooting but once in my life, and I cannot say then that I had the fortune to attraper any thing.Baron.
My gun is but an old and dull looking one to be surebut it brings down every bird.Enter a Servant.
Servant.
The pastor attends, sir.Baron.
Well then, hasten, count, and put on your elegant shooting-dress, I will be with you quickly.Count.
I fly. My dearest lady, it is un sacrifice due to your father, thus to tear myself away for a while from his aimable daughter. (Exit.)Baron.
Hear me, Amelia!It is scarcely necessary that I should talk with the pastor, and he afterwards talk with you. But still, as he is here, leave us togetherI have other matters on which I wish to confer with him.Amelia. (going)
Dear father, I do not think I ever shall love the Count.Baron.
As you please.Amelia. (meeting the pastor with a complacent smile)
Good morrow! good morrow! dear sir. (Exit.)Scene 6
[The Baron, the Pastor.]
Pastor.
I wait your lordship's commands.Baron.
Excuse me if I have sent for you at an inconvenient time, a few words will comprize my businessI yesterday received a miserable translation from the French, which came from the press about twenty years ago. I myself possess a very elegant German original, of which, without vanity be it spoken, I am the author. Now I am solicited to strike my name out of the original, and bind it up together with this contemptible translationand I wish to ask you, as corrector of my work, your opinion upon the subject.Pastor.
Indeed, my lord, I do not understand your allegory.Baron.
No! Humph! I am sorry for that, I thought I had framed it so dexterouslybut in short, then, the young count von der Mulde is here, and would fain marry my daughter.Pastor. (starts but soon recovers himself)
Indeed!Baron.
He is a gentleman of the privy-chamber but nothing else upon God's earth. He ishe isin short he pleases me not.Pastor. (rather eagerly)
And your daughter?Baron. (imitating her)
As you commandif you commandwhat you commandWell, well, but I think you know me too well to suppose, that on such an occasion I lay any commandsbut if the man's head were not so totally empty, and his heart were right, I should have no objection; for his father is my old friend, and the match in other respects advantageous.Pastor.
In other respects, my Lord?what then remains to a man, whose head and heart are good for nothing.Baron.
That is not what I meanI mean as to rank and fortune. My friend, I will explain to you my ideas upon this subject. If Amelia loved another, I should not waste a syllable upon the subject, I would only ask who he is?is all right here? (pointing to his heart). If the answers were satisfactory, in God's name they should have my blessing. But Amelia does not love any other man, which circumstance alters the case entirely.Pastor.
And never will love another.Baron.
Truly that is a different question.But understand me. I do not mean to persist in this, I would only do what is incumbent on me not to offend the old Count von der Mulde, by refusing to honour the bill of exchange, which he has drawn for my daughter; for I have already received the value in friendship from him; therefore I wish you to talk with my child, and explain to her the duties of the marriage state, and this done, ask her, whether she be inclined to take upon herself those duties as the wife of the young Count: if she answer in the negative, 'tis enoughshe shall be urged no farther. What think you of this?Pastor.
Iyescertainly.I understand you wellI will talk with the young lady.Baron.
Yes, yes, do so! (he fetches a deep sigh) Ah! one weight is now removed from my mind, but another hangs more heavily upon it, and oppresses it more grievously. You understand meNo success yet, my friend? still no intelligence?Pastor.
I have sought it with all diligence, but hitherto in vain.Baron.
Believe me, this has occasioned me many a sleepless night. How often is a man guilty of errors in his youth, which in age he would give all he possesses, could they be obliterated. How does he thus lay up a store of misery to corrode the happiness of his future life, since the retrospect of the past, and the hopes and prospects of the future are inseparably linked together. Is the view behind us darken'd o'er with clouds, so surely must we encounter storms as we proceed onwards in our course. Well, well, we will hope the best. Farewell, my friend, I am going a shooting. In the mean time make your experiment, and remember to dine with me.[Exit.
Pastor. (alone)
What a commission!to me? (looking anxiously around) If I should meet with her directly! No, I must first collect myselfprepare myself for the interviewat present it is impossible to encounter it.A walk in the fields, and a devout prayer to heaventhen will I returnbut ah, the instructor alone must come hither, the man I must leave at home.[Exit.
END OF ACT II